Every winter I declare I want a boyfriend. I thought I wanted to be in a relationship over the summer but I tried and failed. This novel idea came to me again a few weeks ago then I remembered I made the same exact declaration last year at this time and I wondered if maybe it’s a seasonal thing.
If you live in a four season city, such as I do, then you know that it gets too cold sometimes to go out hunting for someone to sleep with. It’s a chore in itself, in any season but in the winter when you all layered up and wearing boots instead of peep-toe stilettos; I get very unenthused. As I can imagine many singles do. I am no relationship expert, especially when my wanting to be in one stems from sheer laziness and being horny. I will share the little advice I do have on finding the “one” for the winter when it gets too cold to look for dates.
Start on the weekends and if you can at holiday parties.
The holiday season brings a plethora of parties from Thanksgiving and New Years Eve. This is the time when you want to start begging your friends to take you to their company Christmas party as well as any birthday parties they may know of. The weekend is the one time when more single people feel obligated to go out knowing that they’ve been going from work to home all week.
Shunning all contact with humankind. Single men and women also realize that the weekend is probably their only chance to meet a potential date. In the winter adults can get a bit grouchy making it less likely to talk to strangers and meet people during the day.
The mall is your best friend.
I met the hottest guy at the mall last Christmas getting his shoes shined with his father. Although we never went out he was a great catch and ended up being a friend. It only took one day of shopping and less than two hours for me to meet him and when you’re in a mall (around Christmas time) great openers are in abundance. When you see a hot girl or guy you want to talk to you can always ask them where the store is of the bag their holding. If they have a coffee cup, ask them if there is a Starbucks in the mall.
I peruse the men’s section of Nordstrom and pretend I’m shopping for a present, for my dad. Every cute guy I see, I ask them where they got their coat, shoes, watch or hair cut; anything they happen to be wearing. I make sure to compliment their item, tell them how much I love it, how great it looks on them and that I’ve been looking for something similar for my father. It works every time.
I have a love affair with long distance dating but when it comes to having sex on a regular basis these types of relationships are kryptonite. There is a very good chance that several single people will be traveling in and out of your city. It’s likely that you’ll meet them because they’re on holiday and likely don’t have sh*t to do. They will seem appealing because they will have oodles of time to spend with you. Things may seem very fun and romantic at first but come February your ass will be pissed that you’re where you are and they’re very very far away. If you happen to meet a nice person between now and New Years who doesn’t have the same area code as you, I suggest you do a cost benefit analysis on whether to pursue them or not.
Cost being traveling to see them, not having sex and the time it takes to Skype then masturbate because we all know Skype sex is bullsh*t. The benefit being finding a connection, falling in love etc, blah blah blah. If you want a relationship, long distance may be a good idea but if you want to have consistent sex throughout the winter, it’s a really bad one.
If you decide that you want to embark on a friend’s with benefits relationship instead of an actual one the same rules apply but I would be a little hastier with your intention. I’m a super impatient person. I quickly get womanitis and I need to know immediately where things are going when I start dating a guy or I feel like I’m wasting time. I don’t think you want to be this way. It sucks when you date someone for a few weeks then things fall apart and you have to start all over again. Such is life. If you have any other suggestions on how to find a winter boo, I’d appreciate the advice.