traits that chase men away

5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

“Strangers are friends you have yet to meet”

Has this ever happened to you…

you meet a guy that you like, and you have a great conversation. You’re flirting laughing and seemingly having a great time. You’re sure he’s going to ask for your number and you can’t wait until your first date. The perfect scenario is playing out in your mind but what happens next is a combination of faith, luck and extreme discipline.

As exciting as it is, I know all too well how easily women can blow it with men. That’s right I said blow it. There are just so many ways for a woman to fail if there aren’t intentional during the interaction. Taking the steps from being strangers to dating can be filled with booby traps.  Women have more control over the interaction than they realize so it’s to the woman to get things right.

Now before you get your panties in a bunch I’m not talking about each and every man you date. Some men you just aren’t going to be into. I’m talking about that really hot guy, that you just meet, that you really liked, and you think has boyfriend potential. Before you’re first meeting while you’re waiting for the very first phone call here are a few activities to avoid.

So here are my tips of what you shouldn’t do immediately after you meet a man that you’re really feeling.

Don’t Plan For The Future

Women have this uncanny ability to imagine a future so clear and distinct that she might stop seeing a guy who she doesn’t envision will get along with her Nana. Before you start thinking about what he’ll wear when you bring him to Christmas dinner or if you should take his last name or hyphen yours, stop. Take a breath and step away from the bridal magazines.

I don’t have to remind you, that you just met him but you just met him. Who cares if he’ll get along with your best friend from college, or your great Aunt from Texas, he might not even get along with you. You met a nice guy at the bar or the grocery store and he promised to call, that’s awesome. I’m going to ask you nicely not to waste one second of thought on the future.

No us, no we, no our…nothing. Live your life. The minute you find yourself thinking about him or talking about him, stop. You met a man, he has potential, it’s all very exciting but you need to live your life just as you were.

Don’t Internet Stalk Him

So I met this guy and he gave me his business card. After taking a few seconds to actually wrap my brain around why he would even think that I would call him, I put it somewhere away and have not looked at it since. As easy as it would be for me to put my No.1 female detective agency skills to the test I didn’t.

Anything you want to know about a man he should tell you.

Of course there are those unique instances when you Google a name and tons of bad sh*t comes up like rape charges, and born a female headlines but the chances of your judgment being so impaired that you have to know everything about this man before your very first date are slim. If you’re interested in using Facebook just to be sure you remember what he looks like, I will give you a pass but if you’re trying to check his profile just to see what girls are in his pictures, shame on you.

Don’t Call Him

If a man gives you his business card, DO NOT CALL HIM! Look at him crazy, side-eye him, laugh at him, grab his phone and add yourself to his contacts but DO NOT CALL HIM! Many women make the mistake of just taking the business card, smiling and ending the interaction. You need to give him your number, or give him your business card in exchange and be clear that you want him to call.

Now, some men won’t call they will text, we know this.

If a man texts you and you would prefer that he call, then tell him that. If you must call, you need to be clear of why you’re calling. If he gave you his business card and like a sucker you walked away without allocating your information then you will need to call for him to have your name and number. I want to be clear, you’re not calling to chat and you surely aren’t calling to ask him out.

If you must absolutely call a man it’s only to give him an opportunity for him to ask you out.

Be Patient

Once you put the ball in a man’s court then you have to be patient. Don’t put your entire life on pause waiting for him to follow up with you. Just wait. I know it sucks and sometimes men take forever but wait. Be patient. Don’t plot or plan or rush; just wait. If he takes what you would consider an unreasonable length of time to contact you then feel free to move on but once you pitch the ball don’t run to mound and try to swing at it, wait.

Be Flexible

I have a formula for men that I believe truly works when it comes to courting a woman. It involves some strategic texting and a little initiative. If a man wants to see you immediately and you have the time, be flexible. Okay, so he didn’t invite you three days beforehand, give the guy a bit of a break especially if you want to see him. I’m not saying drop all of your plans and race to his house but compromise.

When you meet someone who you really like, it’s crazy great but it’s a feeling that only lasts (sometimes until you get to know them) a short while. Hold on to it. Don’t try to replace it with love instantly. It’s like laying down in bed and realizing how tired you are or sitting in front of a hot meal and thinking, “Man I’m hungry.”

Meeting a man who has potential reminds a lot of women how long it’s been since they’ve had a date or a boyfriend. Sometimes it reminds you that you’re lonely or ready for something real. All of those feelings can be overwhelming so it’s important to keep the proper perspective. Don’ t be so caught up in the opportunity that you forget to enjoy the man or the process. He is not a means to an end, he’s not your Prince Charming, or at least you don’t know yet.

Be patient enough to let the courtship unfold naturally. Be relaxed in the dating process, you’ll have far more success. I hope this was helpful. Leave your comments below.

26 thoughts on “5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

  1. This is brilliant! I have find myself accidentally committing all of the crimes listed above at one point or another – and the times a guy has turned into something great are the times that I followed your advice. (or at least something close) Never hear of it, but had to have it- I just downloaded the straight to voicemail app!

    1. Thanks so much for reading! Trust me I am guilty of all of them, more than once! It’s just so exciting to meet a guy that you could see yourself dating. Unfortunately it doesn’t happen often enough. And I love the straight to voicemail ap. I know it’s a little bit of cheating but hey, you have to use technology to your advantage.

    2. My boyfriend has recently been rude unappreciative but i miss him eat should i do to get him back.y cant i stop thinkng of him

      1. Thank you so much for your comment. We’re not perfect people. Your boyfriends behavior is only a problem when you want something from him that you’re not getting. Decide for yourself that you deserve more and ask for it. If he can’t give it to you then find someone better suited for you. Don’t be afraid to get what you want even if you have to find it in someone else. I hope this was helpful.

  2. I’m currently making these dumb mistakes. I’ll turn it around; hope it is not too late!

  3. Great post!! Yeah, just recently a guy I met in an interest class gave me his card after we chatted for a few times. I was wondering what to do with it. What I was planning was just to leave it as it is or send him a brief email about how nice it was to meet him that’s all. So what do you think, miss Solomon?

  4. I work at a grocery store…I just got up the guts to give a cutie guy that comes in my #…now the wait! This is sooo not me…I am very shy and I blush when he comes in the store…I make smalltalk, so that’s a start right!?

  5. When it comes to men I’m interested in no matter what its to hard because I am shy I guess it confuses them so I leave it alone I don’t want to look desperate

  6. Stupid post mostly. Go for you goals and dream your man or goals in place. Use imagination. Just watch Abraham-hicks at youtube and you know what to do.

  7. I met this guy on a short flight , we talk and he handed me his business card and ask me to send him an email and contact number ,
    What do u think I should do ? Should I send him an email? Or just ignor and forget about him?!?!

    1. I do not agree every where and every time with this post.But sometimes I belive in it.If any man encounter same kind of problem. he will fill boring and very we should be aware from this post.

  8. Just B.S.

    Call the guy and asking him out. Actually take the guy out to dinner. If you have his contact info USE IT! He gave it to you for a reason, unless you were talking about business.

    Every woman that has done this to me has end up up as my girlfriend. I treated them all well. I’m still friends with most of them to this day. I’m good looking responsible, great in bed and honest, I empower and educate the women I date.

    Compare that to the women that play games and the asshole that destroy their lives they end up with.

    Make the first move, don’t play games, be available not hard to get and most importantly, don’t go after assholes and players. Only assholes and players require games to hook them in.

    You don’t have to settle for a boring nice guys, there are plenty of good men that you overlook, because they are not coming up to you, and not being the bad boy. Stop being a damn cat that need string dangled and once it get’s it loses interest.

    If you’re smart enough to not need a challenge or drama the above will work with quality men provided they are physically attracted to you.

    Men want an attractive woman that treats them like a king and make them feel good and does not cause problem for them. Most women are to wrapped up in themselves to do that these day. And also read some books on how to be great in bed. We want to feel good, have great sex, and not be nagged, and if you can actually cook on top of that, he probably wont ever let you go.

    Not all that hard is it, your grandmother knew what was up, you generation has been lied to!

  9. This content is very informative but it took me a long time to find it in google.
    I found it on 14 spot, you should focus on quality backlinks building, it will help you to increase traffic.

    And i know how to help you, just type in google – k2 seo tips and tricks

  10. i NEVER give out my number. a lady does not give out her number to a stranger.
    it is unsafe and a lady should never be kept waiting.
    a LADY takes his number. allowing safety and some control.
    or both can exchange numbers.
    but never allow the man to have all the control. been doing it for years and
    has worked for me.

  11. I was doing some research for writing. But I had to say I completely disagree. If you know someone’s number and want to ask them out: then do it! I asked my husband out. We got married because we were good together. But that would never had happen if I waited on him. I could tell he liked me, and he was shy. I waited a bit. But then I just did it. Not every girl or guy is the same, so if you’re the brave one take the chance it might be love. P.S. I’ve never had a guy turn me down. Guys are usually just a little surprised and grateful someone likes them.

    1. Thank you for reading and for your comment. I don’t see anything wrong with giving a man your number and asking him to call. That’s the smart thing to do. If you want to call him, I’m ok with that as long as you let him take the lead if he wants to and if you need him to. Everyone is different. I need a man to lead because I’m independent and I can easily boss a man around but I would rather he stand up to me. If you can set the right boundaries and requirements then remember it’s not how you start but how you finish meaning who cares who calls who first as long as you’re mutually into each other. As long as you don’t feel like you’re doing the chasing. I hope this was helpful.

  12. Hi guys!

    recently, at the gym, someone asked for my number and invited me for a coffee. I wasn’t interested in sharing my number but I did that!
    How I should threat to let him know I am not interested as I might see him every day at the gym and I am sure he has told his friends that have given my number!!

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting. My advice is this: be honest and don’t feel bad for not being interested. There is always a fear that we’re going to be uncomfortable when approached by those we aren’t interested in. The reality is being uncomfortable is being an adult. It’s not always easy to communicate honestly but you should be mature enough to say that you’re not interested in romance but you would be happy to grab coffee as friends. I hope this was helpful.

  13. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Cheers!

  14. there is this guy who flirts with me, shows all 32 teeth when smiling at me and sighs around me a lot, well I do like him and think the feeling is mutual, but ive asked men out in the past and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. but I decided to give it another shot by giving my crush a Christmas card and writing in it the following “me and you coffee with my name/number” and if he is interested he has my digits. is that too much or not.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and thank you for reading! I know this is easy to say but the best way to approach men that you like is to remove yourself from the outcome. Yes, you want a date, and I think it’s great that you took the initiative but don’t beat yourself up about the outcome. The circumstances might not be right. There is one way I recommend taking action in dating to see results. It’s a simple process – Step 1. Write down 3 possible scenarios A,B,C – A being if nothing happens, B being if it something happens but not what you expected, C being if your ideal results happen. Then try to imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Prepare yourself for no response, for a rejection, or for a date. If you’re prepared for any outcome, its easy to take action. Just don’t NEED anything certain result. Just take action because you’re a brave person willing to take risks, and go after what you want. Instead of worrying about the result, just focus on taking action. It’s not about what happens, it’s about taking the action, accepting the result as feedback and moving forward with new information. I think you did a great thing! and the action itself means more than the result because you showed confidence. If you don’t get a date, that’s ok. But don’t stop right taking action where you can. I hope this was helpful.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: