How To Compete With Better Looking People

You don’t have to be good looking to find a relationship.

In fact, it can very frustrating to see others who don’t seem “as good” as us, in the loving relationship that we’ve always wanted. Hell, even Charles Manson got engaged just a few short years ago. So what does he have that you don’t?

The confidence to know that there is no competition. It might seem that other people are in competition with you, for the love and attention of your perfect mate, but they’re not. The inferiority that we feel, and the competition that we feel in dating, is a delusion. So how do you compete with the better looking people around you?

The short answer is, you can’t. The long answer is: you really can’t. And the truth is: you don’t have to.

I believe that there is a lid for every pot, and once you understand how attraction works, you’ll never have a problem getting your dream partner interested. Or anyone for that matter.

For women who struggle in competing with others that they deem more attractive, you have to realize that dating isn’t about how good you look. Dating is all about how you make someone feel. Dating might seem easier when you’re good-looking, and well put together, but that’s only because the well put together woman spends less time worrying about how other people see her, and more time focused on the guy she wants. You can get any man to find you attractive if you make him feel good. That is something that you can control.

Never automatically assume that a man will want the most beautiful woman in the room. If you assume that another woman is prettier, and that guys will want her over you, then you’re half-right. Men will want her but men will want you tooThe key to winning over any man, even the one who seems out of your league, is to remember the following.


Regardless if you consider yourself, pretty, ugly, funny, smart, or dumb, it really doesn’t matter as long as you’re around. How you see yourself isn’t the way other people will see you. If you’re around a man that you want long enough, he will consider dating you.

The opportunity to date him is yours for the taking, but you have to be willing to take it. He’s not stopping you, you’re stopping yourself. If you’re shy, meek, sloppy or lame then no amount of time together will create desire. If you are fun, sexy, and self-confidant, then a more attractive woman would have to work twice as hard to steal him away.

Why? Because men appreciate a woman who can keep him stimulated no matter what he is doing. Men like women who can get out of their own head and actually place her undivided attention on him. If you work together, share mutual activities, belong to the same gym, or have other shared interests that will put you by his side, then you have as great a chance, as any other woman, to win him over. You just have to muster the confidence to try.


Some of the world’s most beautiful woman are single. Jennifer Aniston, Naomi Campbell, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez just to name a few. Beauty is in the the eyes of the beholder. While you are seeing someone as you’re competition, your crush is appreciating the beauty in all women.

Although studies have scientifically proven symmetry makes you more beautiful, the man you want to date probably hasn’t read that study. In fact, a good-looking woman can actually intimidate men. A relationship needs attraction and chemistry, but those aren’t created by looks at all. A man wants to feel needed and wanted. A woman who attracts a lot of attention doesn’t always make that possible. There are several negative connotations associated to women who are perceived as “very beautiful”.

Beauty can launch feelings of insecurity, jealousy and inferiority in men that make a relationship impossible.

This might sound trite but men are okay with just a pretty girl. Don’t take that negatively. Don’t assume that the man you desire feels attractive or secure in his own appearance either. We are all fighting the same battle to like ourselves, some are just further along.If  a man finds you attractive than you are his “type.”

What you believe to be a prettier woman might be, but it doesn’t mean that he wants to date her.


No matter how satisfied you are with your looks, you could be better looking. Accepting your own beauty is a journey. Once you develop your own standard for beauty, then meeting it is the most important thing you can do for your confidence.

However, not meeting the standard that you’ve set on what is beautiful can make you feel incredibly insecure. If you allow yourself to fall short of what you consider to be beautiful, you will never feel beautiful. You will always feel in competition with other women.

It is your own personal standards that dictate your confidence. If you’re not secure in what you have to offer, then how can you expect someone else to want it. It is your job to feel like enough. Accept yourself for what you have, and not for what you think someone else wants.  Accept what you can’t change, and change what you can. You might not be the size you want tomorrow, but you can feel better about the size you are, today.


We should all consider ourselves beautiful. Personally, I have dealt with jealous women who felt like I was going to take their man. Truth was: I didn’t want their man. In fact, I have never found myself in competition for a man with any woman. Whether you are physically attractive, you can be beautiful.

Beautiful women are confident, and are not likely to compete for a man. If it appears that a man is choosing looks over substance, then it’s not a man that a high-value woman, like yourself, should want.

Chances are unless you’re vying for the handsome, wealthy, 6’4 professional athlete, actor, or multi-millionaire entrepreneur, there is little to no competition for the man that you want. In fact, give the man you’re after enough credit to believe in his taste in women.

If he’s choosing a life partner based on looks alone, he might not be the right person for you.

Beauty comes from a sense of gratitude for all things beautiful. If you assume other women are better looking, then be the first to compliment them and surround yourself with those you find attractive. You will be more attractive by proxy.

If you find yourself feeling competitive with other women, recognize that who you want wants you for you. Accentuate the better qualities that you possess, and leave the rest to opportunity meeting preparation.

There will always be beautiful women in the world, but it doesn’t make them your competition. Just consider yourself one of them.

17 thoughts on “How To Compete With Better Looking People

  1. This is a great post! I will say – I have a SEXY friend who oozes sex appeal everywhere she goes…and she has the hardest time getting a man to do anything but sleep with her. In each case – the guys have settled down with someone who is still attractive (pretty, beautiful, whatever) but not her.

    I find myself looking around and comparing to other girls all the time (stupid, i know) – and this is that lovely bit of advice that will really help calm the voice in the back of my head that says, “Oh, well SHE’S here now…guess I can give up hope of catching his eye!”

    1. thanks! I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been jealous of other women and women have been jealous of me. Over the last few years I’ve been lucky to have best friends that are absolutely gorgeous. At the end of the day, I realized the three of us had completely different tastes. We didn’t chase after the same guys and any jealousy I might have felt I knew it was all in my head. There wasn’t a competition, what so ever

    2. Yep. I find that even now that I’m older, still sexy, men want me to be their side chick. Im appalled! As if I’d supplement your damn marriage. Its an insult to me. Its also an insult to the wife. So marry her for comfort but use a “luxury” woman (as I was recently called) to full your fantasy in bed. NO. Be satisfied with the wife. Thats why you married. I’ll satisfy my husband. Because he cares about more than how I LOOK!! BTW Let me tell you being “sexy” and the envy of women is NOT fun!

    1. Not necessarily but ask yourself, why are you shy. What scares you about connecting with other people. I’ve never been shy so I don’t know what its like but I do know that you don’t have to be aggressive to get a man’s attention, you simply have to be open. If you’re beautiful great, but if you have an energy that deters people from talking to you or approaching you, that is a problem. The idea is that you can take control of what happens in your love life, there really isn’t any competition. Thanks for reading, and for the comment.

  2. If you make the mistake of falling inlove with a shallow and ignorant guy, than you will find yourself competing wth a beatiful woman and you will loose. And that can make you loose your self comfidence. I once stupidly fell inlove with a guy who wouldn’t even give me the time of day and whenever he spoke to me he said something critical that made me question myself and desperate to change who i was into who his new girlfriend was. Many girls wanted that guy but it’s the lucky new girl that got him. And the funny thing was his friend wanted me bu i was too blinded by this unattainable guy that i rejected him. I felt so desparate to have him choose me over that other girl that i kept hoping and hoping, and that prevented me from moving on. I’m still not over him and i still catch myself wishing i was as tall and skinny as his girlfriend.

  3. Most women are beautiful. You guys should just post on to see if people think you’re pretty or not. Honestly, I mean, they give anonymous votes there (only the votes) so you can get honest feedback without the assholes of the internet bashing.

  4. Terrific internet site. An abundance of beneficial info in this article. I’m just transmitting them to a couple close friends ans as well discussing in yummy. Of course, thanks a lot inside your sebaceous!

  5. I feel like if you do something, are and feel passionate about yourself or something in it, you will be able to attract a man. Have something interesting to talk about. I live in dc and I can’t tell you how many times I have struck up a conversation with a guy just about current events or their culture. This has happened with turkish, Chinese, Chilean, english, Irish, and Egyptian men. Read the news ladies and pick up a book, take a class, do something out of your comfort zone!! This is where you thrive and will attract the right guy.

    1. I think you’re absolutely right. The goal when you first meet someone is to have a great conversation and make a connection. Over time you can develop a relationship but once you have fun in the beginning you will stand out and that has nothing to do with looks.

      1. Thanks for the reply! Also, another tip is that some women won’t talk to a guy, so if you take the initiative to talk to a man, you are already outdoing other women. I have been known to have some balls and talk to men on my own while expecting nothing. Then something happens. I have met numerous boyfriends and dates by doing this, if I don’t get their number at least I had a good conversation.

        1. My experience is the average woman gets the guy. Beautiful women make him stare and fantasize…..and make him cheat but he doesn’t want what he sees as a “complication” that comes with beauty in a woman. He doesnt want other men to want his wife so he will fuck a beautiful woman and.marry the average. The average woman will be insecure he is cheating, the beautiful woman angry she was left behind and used for sex, he will be happy!

  6. This is on point for much of it but really… A honda? This is not how I see it as a relatively attractive man. There are women who are my type whom I simply find so hot I don’t know how to approach without losing my cool. I only realised that this was a type when guy friends would shock me by only saying ‘yeah I guess she’s kiiinda attractive’.

    So although I can appreciate that the beautiful blonde is a new mercedes, my type is not a honda. She’s an open-topped convertible in the sunshine from the final off into the sunset scene of one those eighties movies. i.e. damn exciting and a source of passion whether or not she has state of the art seat materials, climate control, etc…

    1. Thank you for visiting my site and for your comment. Don’t get me wrong, both are great cars but they’re designed for different functions and for different people. There are some people who resonate with the flash and design of a Mercedes Benz and other who resonate with the long term value, safety and reliability of a Honda. Both are great cars, but the point was everything isn’t for everyone.

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