Maybe You Don’t Intimidate Men, Maybe You’re Just A B*tch

Regrettably, I do sometimes have to fight a tendency to be bitchy – Marie Windsor

If I had a dollar for every time I heard the argument of whether women intimidated men, I could officially retire. What is it then that stops men from approaching some women? We all know this happens.

We all know that beautiful, kind, smart woman who swears she can’t get a date because men are intimidated by her (insert over-achieving, unbelievably impressive quality or attribute here) career, looks etc.

If she is such a catch but she isn’t caught doesn’t it just make sense that this wonderful woman intimidates men, I mean what else could be the reason that she’s still single?

I used to think that I intimidated men and often men told me that I was correct, but it just wasn’t a good enough answer for me. You have choices in life and making excuses for problems we’d love to change but find ourselves unable to is a popular adult habit. It’s time once and for all to make the choice that even though intimidation sounds like a legitimate explanation, it’s not the reason that you don’t have a man.

You have to make a man a priority.

Your degrees, your job, your passions and activities might seem intimidating but maybe the man in your life is thinking, “Does she have time for me?” Accomplished women are busy. Asking a man to believe that you will create as much time for him as you do your other activities, is asking a lot.

How does he know that you will take yoga in the mornings instead of the evenings to spend time with him? He doesn’t. You have to make it clear, crystal clear that you have time in your life for a relationship and more so, it’s a priority to you.

You have to be beautiful and happy.

I’m no psychologist but you can believe that some women who look incredibly beautiful on the outside are painfully miserable on the inside. I know, go figure. Dating is scary and many beautiful women show that fear on their faces. You have a wall up that maybe the world can’t see but they can feel.

It’s not intimidation if you’re just not inviting. Why would a man hit on a woman who looks perfectly content not being hit on or talked to or just down right mean?

How does this man know that you like to smile, laugh, and have a good time if you’re mean mugging and ice grilling? So here’s a hint, he doesn’t.

You have to be fair to all gentlemen not just the good-looking ones.

Have you ever had a man approach you that you ignored? Most women who claim that they “intimidate” men are hit on all the time. So you don’t intimidate all men just the sexy, smart, wealthy, tall good-looking ones? I understand better than anyone how annoying being hit on by undesirable men can be, especially when they block the better looking men from approaching you but you can’t seem like a bitch. I know it’s not fair but when men see other men strike out the blame is on the woman, not that this dude trying to talk to you has a lazy eye.

You will have to brush off numerous advances but it has to appear to be in a kind, gentle, fair and balanced way. I’ve had two men approach me at the same time and it’s awkward having to tell one sorry, but I promise you I did it the most sincere way I knew how.

I surely didn’t look him up and down, laugh then walk away.

Adults have a great ability to overcome intimidation. When we face challenges in life or strive for greatness we don’t let it get it our way. Haven’t there been times in your life where you felt intimidated but fought through the feelings to accomplish your goal. Men are capable of doing this in dating.

Intimidation is just a fancy word for fear but men are really good at fighting through it, trust me. It’s fine to seem hard to get just don’t seem impossible.


4 thoughts on “Maybe You Don’t Intimidate Men, Maybe You’re Just A B*tch

  1. So true! I know a girl who wears misery and anger on her face all the time…then posts on facebook how unfair it is that she can’t find a good man. I mean, I don’t even want to be around her most of the time…I can’t imagine being committed to her.

    As for me – I think I exude the “I don’t really need anyone to come talk to me. I am here with my friends” look. It sucks because I know I am unapproachable like that, BUT I really do feel like a jerk if I ditch my friends to talk to some guy that I don’t know – especially if he is clearly not my type. I suppose that may make me look bitchy, or taken, or uninterested in men…so now, how do I change that? Sigh.

    1. Thanks for the comment! To answer your question you have to accept the attention from all men. Dating requires you to cast a wide net, don’t be afraid to politely let unwanted suitors know that you’re with your friends and not interested but keeping your guard up keeps the good men out as well as the bad. You probably already know that. You have to master the art of letting men down gently, don’t be afraid to say, “You seem very nice but I’m not here to meet anyone, enjoy your night though.”

  2. I like being left alone so I don’t “bait” strange men to come talk to me when I’m in public. On the other hand, I have every right to choose to talk to certain people, whether they’re men or women. Perhaps I just want to be left alone without feeling I’m required to talk to people I don’t actually want to talk to… perhaps that’s what’s intimidating… being independent and not pining over men.

    1. Thank you for your comment, and for reading. I’m a firm believer that you should speak to those who generally interest you or who you feel compelled to connect with. It’s ok to be guarded as long as you’re not overly judgmental about who you’re keeping out and not willfully keeping potential suitors at bay.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: