Self-reflection isn’t always easy. Hopefully in this New Year you’ve resolved to be a little more honest and realistic about your love life. You’re in charge of your circumstances when it comes to dating.
If you haven’t created a dating life of your own design by now, its time to get back to the drawing board.
First, ask yourself why are you dating?
You don’t need dinner dates to meet new people. You don’t need a relationship to have sex. Why are you dating or interested in dating in the first place? Are you looking for a spouse, a life partner, a good time, companionship or are you just lonely?
Second, recognize that dating is fun.
If you don’t enjoy it, you’re just not doing it right. You have misconceptions of what its supposed to be, because of this you’re likely not successful at what you’re trying to accomplish. You’re likely afraid of rejection. You don’t want to get hurt and you’re likely carrying baggage from past relationships that’s holding you back from attracting the right people.
The only way you’re going to get your love life on the right track is if you take a personal assessment of where you are.
A few more questions to ask…
What’s holding you back from meeting more potential dates?
Is it your lack of self-confidence, a past relationship, insecurity or immaturity. What’s the real reason you believe you haven’t been dating the way you would prefer. A way that’s enjoyable.
Do you like yourself?
Sound harsh? The truth is many singles are still struggling to accept themselves for who they are or worst, don’t know who they are. They are false people, misrepresentative of their character. You’ll never attract someone to likes you for you, if you’re pretending to be someone that you’re not.
What can you offer another person?
Not everyone is going to make the perfect partner but we all deserve love and happiness. Taking personal inventory in this moment means answering the question honestly. What can you give that 1, can’t be found with someone else and 2, is valuable to someone else.
It might have been easy last year to place the blame of your failed love life on auxiliary circumstances but that won’t change things for the better.
The only way to make a positive change in your love life is to start where you are and get real about why you’re dating and what you have to contribute. If you don’t focus on the role you play in your relationships you’re likely to be playing the victim one too many times.