A perfect first date is a rare thing these days. You meet someone, you make the plans but what happens next is anyone’s guess. In this guest post The London Dater, Joe Elvin, shares his plan for making your next date more amazing instead of a mess.
Are you a nervous dater?
Does the thought of a first date going badly leave you in a cold fever?
While a fantastic first date could change your life forever, a bad first date is cringe-worthingly uncomfortable. If you’re socially anxious, you probably avoid situations where there’s any potential for awkward silences. Maybe you worry about your date being dull as dishwater, or perhaps you can’t stand the pressure of trying to impress them. It’s natural to be nervous, but there are several steps you can take to tame these pre-date jitters.
1. Speak On The Phone
As online dating continues to grow, so does the possibility of going on a date with someone you’ve never even spoken to. Are they bold and boisterous? Are they timid and shy? You have no way of knowing! Anyone can be confident behind a computer screen.
Phone them before the first date to see if they’re capable of maintaining a five-minute conversation.
In a recent article , Keith Clarke from lifecoachx.com suggested setting up a Skype call to break the ice. This is a good way to test for chemistry without having to waste time getting dressed up for a potential dud. If the call goes well, you should be more confident about meeting up.
2. Keep It Casual
There’s nothing that piles on the pressure like a traditionally romantic rendezvous.
A candlelit dinner or drinks at a cute cafe piles too much pressure on the pair of you.
It’s so intense sitting in these intimate settings!
There’s nothing to stare at but this stranger’s expectant eyes. Every moment of silence or nervous mannerism is magnified. Essentially, you force romance whether you’re ready or not.
You’re better off in a casual setting where romance can blossom naturally.
3. Plan A Fun Activity
Have something fun to do on your date so the focus isn’t completely on the conversation. If you’re playing pool, shopping or perusing a museum, there’s no need to spend the entire time talking. Even goofy ideas like crazy golf or a children’s arcade are solid gold.
It makes for a relaxed atmosphere, shows off your fun side and gives you something to speak about.
Your date will probably appreciate that you made the effort to go beyond drinks at a bar.
4. Set A Time Constraint
Scared of spending too much time on a never ever-ending date that’s going nowhere? Protect yourself by telling them you have to leave at a certain time. That’s much easier than making hurried excuses half-way through the date.
Giving yourself this get-out clause can ease any fears of being stuck in an awkward situation. Of course, if you get along great, you can arrange a reason to stay.
5. Admit It!
Both of you are in the same boat! You’re both keen to impress each other – and probably a little bit worried about things going wrong. So why not just admit it!?
There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re anxious. It’s actually kind of cute. It can only be taken as a compliment.
They’ll probably admit they’re nervous too – and you’ll feel a rush of relief for getting it off your chest. Remember that they wouldn’t have arranged the date if they didn’t like you. You both want the date to go brilliantly, so rather than stressing about first impressions, concentrate on enjoying the event. Do this and your date will find it hard not to have fun too.
Joe Elvin is a magazine journalist finding his feet in the city of London. He blogs about dating and relationships at www.thelondondater.co.uk.