Dating has a lot to do with understanding what you offer to another human being. Your needs and desires aside, it’s really the vehicle to which we fulfill our desire to give love to each other. Love is our right; it’s not a goal. But within all of us is a burning desire to give love to other people. To express love but in the safest way possible which is in the form of relationships. You already have them with your family, friends, colleagues etc. If you want to start a romantic relationship with the woman of your choice you can. In this article you’ll learn what women look for in a man and how to embody these characteristics.
The most attractive quality to women that a man can possess is being consistent. Tony Robbins has long said that the first human need, the most basic need, is certainty. Women want to know what to expect from the men that they date. They want to know that you will do what you say, and be consistent and reliable in your word and actions. This means if you say you will call, that you call. This means if you show a ton of interest on date one, you should be just as invested on date two. There are several reasons that men are inconsistent. First, they forget what they said. It’s not unreasonable to get caught up in the moment and start to make promises to your date that you don’t necessarily have a habit of keeping.
Next, you’re not sure that the woman is really interested. Maybe she’s not investing on the same level that you are, or to what you expected. Because she is a little more reserved, now you have become more reserved. Unfortunately women are known to pull back to gauge what a man will do. The question she is trying to answer is: Does he like me because I’m a sure thing, or is he willing to risk some ego to come and chase me. Most men fail this test. They assume that the woman isn’t that into them and they pull back. They are distant. The woman then takes this change in behavior as inconsistency and loses interest.
A man that knows what he wants is incredibly attractive. So what does this look like? It’s more than just being aggressive or forward with a woman. A decisive man can clearly communicate what he wants by leading his date. First, start with making decisions. Plan the date with her in mind. When she asks you questions about your interest, don’t waffle or waiver. If you want to see her again, or extend the date just say so. If you don’t, then say that too. Being decisive means knowing and communicating what you want, instead of waiting on your date to take the lead. Remind yourself that your preferences are apart of your personality and a woman can’t get to know your better unless she knows what you like, don’t like and what you want.
Women need security, but to build security we first need to establish trust with our partners. We need to know that we can believe in what you say. So don’t lie. Be honest with the woman that you’re dating even at the risk of being vulnerable. Be honest about how you feel to avoid leading her on. Be honest with yourself about how you feel, so you don’t settle for less than you want. It should be obvious that you shouldn’t lie but where men lose trust with women is when they don’t know what they want, but they don’t know how to communicate their ambivalence. Instead of opening up the dialogue they continue to act as though everything is fine. Almost worst than a lie, is being ambivalent or evasive.
What does it mean to be aware? In the book The Alabaster Girl, author Zan Perrion talks about a time when men understood the cues of women.
A time when a man could read a woman’s subtleties easily and instantly, and how that time has since withered away. Being aware means noticing the subtle cues and hints that women are giving throughout the evening. The language of most women is hinting and suggestion. Being aware means looking for hints, and picking up on subtle cues. It means understanding that a woman wants to feel safe with you, and she wants to feel engaged. Being aware means recognizing how everything that you do impacts these two states.
The best way to show that you appreciate a woman for what she offers is to give her great compliments. Compliments are the recognition and appreciation of something someone else has, or has done. They are powerful and everyone needs them. It’s impossible to connect with a woman without giving her a compliment.
She knows what she has to offer and the only way that she can confirm that you recognize her worth is when you vocalize it. There is no way to connect with a woman without appreciating that which sets her apart from the other women that you might have dated, or are dating. Compliments are both parts appreciation and recognition. They reinforce her own positive perceptions of herself.
Compliments also support your awareness. This woman is making an effort to show you her best qualities, and present her best self. She is looking not for validation but for recognition. Another important note on compliments is that they make us feel good. By extending compliments we’re expressing our desire to make the other person feel appreciated. Deprive a woman of that feeling and she will not connect with you.