For a long and happy relationship to prosper there has to be romance. Not romance in the sense of giving presents, flowers, and going on romantic dates, but being romantic by making your partner your number one priority and valuing their thoughts and feelings. There are many ways you can do that without it being a full time job and continuing to have a good work and social life. Here are some of the best suggestions for romancing your partner.
1. Show Interest in Their Hobbies
Prioritizing your significant other means that you should take an interest in the things they like doing or are passionate about. If your partner had no interest in your passions, would you feel valued and prioritized? It’s unlikely. This doesn’t mean that your partner’s passions need to also become yours, but you can ask them about their favorite team, or to share what they’ve been creating. Even if you don’t join the sports team or watch every game together, doing it once in a while will make them feel happy and supported.
2. Check-in Regularly
In order for couples to feel like they are prioritized for each other, they need to communicate frequently. This means that you need to make time to connect with each other daily and hearing what they’re saying. As Julia Nadon, a family counsellor at Write My X and Brit Student recommends, “use this check-in time to discuss what you love about the relationship and what you think you can be doing better as partners. Doing this as a regular practice on a weekly or regular basis and showing that you’re both open to communicating means that you’ll grow together and feel comfortable discussing anything with each other.”
3. Talk About Their Life
Everyone likes to talk about themselves and it is exciting getting to know your partner on different levels. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, there are always more things you can get to know. Discuss their life, their childhood, goals that they have for the future or what’s been happening at work. Even if you’ve talked about a subject before, showing that you’re interested in their life will make your spouse feel like their life and their feelings are important to you. This is as easy as asking fun and playful questions like “would you rather” or “how would you react if”, and you’ll see that it will create great conversation opportunities.
4. Avoid the Complaints
It’s normal that both partners do things that annoy the other person. This can be something that started off cute when you were first dating but is not more annoying. However, nothing kills romance quicker than complaints and criticisms. It’s normal that you get on each others’ nerves here and there, but there are many healthier ways to deal with it. The next time you feel frustrated about something your spouse is doing, reflect on whether it’s something that will still annoy you tomorrow. If the answer is no, then let it go, the same way your partner is surely doing about things you do that annoy them.
5. Show Gratitude
Showing gratitude is a big part of feeling prioritized in a relationship, but it’s one of the first things that disappear in long term relationships. Take the time to continue doing kind things for each other and acknowledging them, from making breakfast or lunch for each other, to holding doors open, doing chores around the house, or even sending spontaneous flirty texts. Let your partner know that you acknowledge all the fantastic things they do for you and how you appreciate them will make them feel loved and valued.
6. Keep Dating Each Other
Just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean you should stop dating. When you were a new couple, you probably both put a lot of effort into impressing each other on dinner dates, flirting, going on day trips, and more. Cathy Moore, a couple relations therapist at 1Day2Write and Next Coursework, says that “there’s no reason to stop that now because those are the actions that created the butterfly feeling and made you want to keep seeing each other. Take the time for each other to go on a date night regularly, spend a weekend away together, and make sure you have alone time as a couple. All of those efforts will make both people feel valued in the relationship.”
7. Be Affectionate
It shouldn’t be only new couples that are affectionate, from kisses and hugs to hand-holding and cuddling on the couch. If this is no longer part of your relationship, it’s time to kick start the affection again. Being affectionate together will make both of you feel better, more secure in the relationship, and build trust.
8. Celebrate Each Other
It’s important to celebrate each other’s accomplishments, whether it’s an important workplace goal, a health target, or even their sports team winning a game. Show them that their accomplishments and success make you happy too by throwing them a nice dinner, or just writing a sweet note that they’ll read at work.