Poor self-esteem affects our lives negatively in many ways.
When we feel bad about ourselves, we sometimes seek validation outside. But, looking for approval from the partner to feel secure and confident can harm the relationship in the long run. Giving away all your power by letting your well-being depend on others is too much of a burden for them. Genuinely liking yourself is the road to reach your relationship goals.
Self-confidence is an attractive quality, and there are efficient ways to improve the way you feel about yourself. Let’s dig in!
1. Conquer Your Fears
We all have fears and insecurities, and it is perfectly normal. Overcoming insecurities that stop you from leading a more fulfilled life can help you boost your self-esteem and build a healthier relationship with your special someone. Sharing your deepest fears is a great way to bond even more and deepen your relationship. And when you know you have your partner’s support, things can get a lot easier.
Sometimes talking to your partner about what frightens you may be enough to do something you’ve been dreading for a long time. But if that doesn’t help, reach out to a counselor or mental health professional. Some anxieties and fears need to be addressed by experts, and there is no shame to it.
2. Maintain Your Independence & Pursue Your Interests
Keeping your independence and not relying on your relationship to satisfy all of your needs make you a better partner to your significant other. To keep a healthy balance in a relationship, maintain your sense of self-identity, and take care of your needs. Explore the interests you have, and if your partner isn’t passionate about them pursue them on your own.
Planning activities that don’t involve your partner foster your sense of self. Having friends and hobbies outside the relationship is just as important as spending quality time with your partner.
3. Take Advantage of Fashion to Boost Your Confidence
The way we dress has a massive effect on how we feel and how we behave. A fashion style that presents your best can empower you. The scientists have coined the term “enclothed cognition” to describe this process. We all had that experience when wearing complementary apparel gave us confidence and baldness. The truth is we adopt some characteristics of our clothing, so put on a power outfit to boost your self-esteem!
Figure out your style, find out what suits you best and what you feel best in. Explore shapes and sizes and find the ones that flatter you most. Learn how to choose the right jewelry pieces to showcase your personality and creativity. Picking a single well-placed accessory can turn a bland outfit into a glamorous one and make you feel fierce!
4. Be Kind to Yourself
Think about it – we tend to have a lot of understanding of other people’s perspectives and empathize with them, but when it comes to ourselves, things change for some reason. We don’t show ourselves the same empathy and acceptance we give out to others. We are often highly critical of ourselves, expecting to reach unrealistic standards.
And you know what? When you are cruel and judgmental to yourself, it reflects poorly in your sense of worthiness, and subsequently, to your relationships with others. Whatever it is you are going through: insecurities, failure, or something else, the first step is to acknowledge that. Practice self-compassion to let go of beating yourself up when things go wrong and treat yourself better.
5. Work on Your Self-Talk
Our inner voice can vary from positive and supportive to negative and destructive. It combines our conscious thoughts with unconscious beliefs, so whatever we feel about ourselves deep down emerges in a constructive or negative inner talk.
Instead of talking down fears and reinforcing confidence, critical inner voice can be self-defeating and dysfunctional. How do you change this? Become aware of your inner dialogues and utilize self-help techniques to replace the inner critic with a more supportive and constructive inner voice.
6. Differentiate Your Performance From Your Value
Keep in mind that your failures don’t define you, but your unique personality traits, interests, and aspirations do. We tend to focus on things we think we are lacking, and this causes us to feel unworthy and insecure. Instead, concentrate on your qualities, strengths, and achievements.
Think about what you have to offer to the other person and how you make their life better. You may be a kind, trustworthy, and outgoing person, or you make your partner feel happy, supported, and loved. Those are all valuable things to have in a relationship. And changing perspectives this way will free you from ruminating on what you feel you lack.
Achieving self-improvement goals can help you build a strong, long-lasting bond with your partner. Keeping your partner engaged comes down to patience and self-appreciation. When you work on your personal growth and genuinely feel good about yourself, it will reflect in all parts of your life, and of course, in your relationships.