Dating is a skill. Most men don’t learn how to date women because there are very few resources to learn from. It’s unlikely you ever came across a class on how to court women properly and how to get women to like you.
If you want to enjoy dating there are a few concepts that you have to understand. Some are specific to men. Other truths are based on typical human nature. Dating is something that almost every person will do as they seek a long term romantic partner. Unfortunately, both men and women learn to date ad hoc. Single men and women take what they see in movies as reality and rely on their conditioning to set a protocol for how to date. This makes dating complicated because everyone does it a different way.
Ultimately, if you want to be successful with women and feel in control of the situation, then you have to learn the right way to connect with the women you meet, how to pique their interest, and when to engage with them for maximum results.
Follow The Rules
Men are hunters right?
This is what most of society believes. Men are excited by the chase and they enjoy pursuing women. They are naturally hunters so women shouldn’t be too aggressive or it takes the fun out of the dating process. Let’s be honest, you would probably enjoy dating more if women were the ones who called, texted, and contacted you first right? Dating apps like Bumble make this possible with its infamous design where women ‘make the first move’. The first thing to understand about dating is that while these concepts are popular they don’t apply to everyone.
As a man you should make the first move, and almost all the moves.
The rule says to ‘wait three days,’ the rule says to ‘text not call’. Unfortunately the rules don’t account for your intentions with the woman that you are trying to date. If you’re on a dating app, the assumption is that you are interested in some kind of romantic relationship and not a penpal. You want to create a sense of safety with this woman.
Putting yourself in the woman’s shoes she doesn’t know who you are and what you really want. She doesn’t know if you have a wife and children at home, or happen to be a serial killer. You are selling yourself to a stranger and it’s your responsibility to put this woman at ease. You need to prove that she doesn’t need to be afraid of you. Most men forget this step in dating, and fail to engage women at a time when it’s necessary to establish a sense of security.
After a few exchanges on a dating app, or maybe in person, you ask for this woman’s number. Once you have the number you should text right away to make sure it’s the right number.
Any objections to texting right away come from a place of insecurity. Why? Think about this – when you text right away what are you conveying?
Are you showing this woman that you are a hunter in pursuit of prize game, or are you showing this woman that you are tiptoeing around what you want to mitigate the risk of rejection.
Contact Right Away
If you think contacting this woman immediately makes you look desperate then you ARE desperate. Because only desperate men have desperate thoughts. A man who knows that he is a powerful King, sees his attention as a gift, and knows that he has just put a smile on this beautiful woman’s face by showing her attention.
A desperate man is cautious because he believes – women play games, women are liars, that he will be rejected, or that he has to be ‘careful’ because women can’t be trusted.
A confident man knows that he is capable of handling whatever this woman throws his way, and the situation will unfold as he’s designed it once he is intentional about it. And if things happen to go awry then it wasn’t meant to be and there are a million more women where that woman came from. Literally.
Understand the Game
Whether you meet a woman in person or online you have to know how the ‘get to know you’ game works. It doesn’t matter if you just want to have sex with this woman, or you are looking for a lifetime partner. Once you exchange contacts the game is on. If you are on a dating app, you want to move quickly and secure her phone number. If you acquire her phone number in real life, you want to text immediately to make sure that the number is correct. If you both have Iphones you can even send her a voice note.
There is no need to wait in contacting a woman once you know what you want. If you just want to have sex, then you can’t get her into bed if she won’t respond to your messages. If you are looking for a girlfriend then you can’t get on the first date if she doesn’t respond to your messages. The way to get what you want is by starting the ‘get to know you’ process quickly.
The ONLY way a woman will give you anything is because she feels that she is getting to know you and you her. When a woman feels like you are actively interested in getting to know her – asking questions, checking in on her, paying attention to small details – then she will open up to you. This could take a few minutes, hours, days or weeks, depending on how strategic you are.
You should secure a woman’s phone number as quickly as possible and contact her immediately after. If she takes a long time to reply then she is playing a game and you know how to adjust your strategy. If she replies right away then she is interested in the pursuit. You have a willing participant.
The only way to know what type of woman you are dealing with is to dive right in. Consider this the race, and your first message or contact, is the gunshot. If you never pull the trigger then the game can never begin.