With so much to juggle as an adult, it’s easy to find yourself on the “wrong path” suddenly. You may have financial, relationship, or career problems. But falling off course doesn’t have to be forever.
It takes desire from you to change your life because where there’s a will, there’s a way.
These tips can help you get your act together in three days or less. Stand tall, straighten your crown, and get ready to start over with your best foot forward!
1. Decide to Be Grateful
The most significant difference between successful, happy people and those stuck in ruts is perspective. People who are intrinsically satisfied with their lot don’t always have everything. What they do have, though, they are grateful for.
That attitude of gratitude says it all, and you can’t fake it. To be thankful, you must choose to be so.
The good thing is you can do this in baby steps. Over the next three days, work on catching those negative thoughts. They can show up in your mind, but you can’t actually act on them.
Start by taking these small actions:
Day One: Actively catch yourself when you start to complain. If you can, change your words or responses. Don’t be disappointed with yourself if you slip. This is your first day.
Day Two: Actively catch yourself if you’re being negative. Force yourself to follow up a negative comment or action with an apology or a kind word.
Day Three: As you watch your choices, notice that your automatic tendency to complain is lessening. Follow up every negative response with a positive one, no matter how difficult it may be.
Now you can start looking for the silver lining in the situation. Take this attitude into each day, remembering that we all slip up sometimes.
2. Learn the Difference Between Responding and Reacting
Even as adults, most of us don’t realize there is a difference between reacting and responding. A fundamental discrepancy between the two produces significantly different results.
Reacting is based on emotional, instinctive triggers. You react when your fight-or-flight sense kicks in, such as when you touch a hot stove or flee out of the path of a moving car. Reactions are instinctual and geared towards protecting us from pain. They’re necessary, but not always beneficial in a conversation.
When you react to something someone says or does that bothers you, it’s usually a knee jerk comment or action. Chances are, it’s also something you’ll regret later. You must deal with the fallout because it hurt someone’s feelings or got you in trouble.
Responding, on the other hand, lets you have time to think before you act. These comments and actions result from logic rather than instinct or emotion.
You took the time to walk away and clear your thoughts, so your response is more mature and thought-out.
Work on responding and not reacting to get your act together as much as possible.
3. Set Goals for Your Future
Setting goals is taking charge of the direction you want your life to go in. Without goals, it can seem like we’re wandering off the path. But these targets put you back on track to success.
If creating goals for your future seems overwhelming right now, start small. Choose to begin with one area of your life where you know you are way off track. Consider your finances, education, career, family, relationships, or your mental health.
In that category, set a plan for where you’d like to be in one or five years. Then work backward to create small, manageable milestones that would take you there.
Once you finish that target, move on to another one until you’re satisfied you’ve got a way to get your act together. And you’re starting right now!
4. Choose Your Tribe
There’s a reason for the saying, “you are the average of the five closest people to you.” Who you surround yourself with seeps into your personality. The goals they work towards or their daily habits likely become yours to some degree.
The five closest people to you should lift you and support your goals. But you are trying to be successful. And if they’re satisfied with a life you’re not happy with, they might feel threatened by your aspirations.
Look around at your daily tribe. Do they inspire you? Do you inspire them? It should be a regular back and forth, symbiotic relationship. If you aren’t helping each other get better, you might be dragging each other down.
Eliminate toxic individuals from your life, even if they’re family. You can come back to them later and try to fix what was broken. But right now, you have to focus on you.
5. Figure Out Who You Are
As we reach adulthood, many of us forget who we are as we try to fit in with the crowd. But being authentic is the first step to happiness.
You’re never going to be liked by everyone. Even Mother Theresa would have had online trolls if she was still alive.
Stop living life trying to please others. You can never please everyone, so make yourself the priority. Remember that there are 7.8 billion people in the world. Even if 99.9% hate you and just .1% like you, you have almost eight million adoring fans.
Why disappoint those who would love the authentic you because of those who want to see you as someone you’re not?
As with any personal problem, the first step to solving it is to admit there is one. You have done this by deciding to get your act together.
The consequences of your past choices may take a while to iron themselves out. Use these five steps to get your act together. It’ll be easier and faster to move toward a better, happier, and more genuine you.
Caitlin Sinclair is the Property Manager at Portside Ventura Harbor with 5 years of property management experience and many more in Customer Service. She shares her passion for her community and looks forward to making Portside Ventura Harbor the place to call home.