5 Types of Men You Should Avoid Dating

Do you have trouble choosing the right guy? Perhaps you have been on plenty of dates and even had some serious relationships, but every time the guy turns out to be a total jerk, or simply not right for you!  Don’t blame yourself: you simply need to know the red flags that you need to look out for in men. There are some types of men that it is usually best to avoid dating, and in this guide we will list five of the worst offenders.

5. The Man on a Rebound

A “rebound relationship” is a relationship where one or both partners have not yet moved on from a previous relationship. These typically happen shortly after a break-up, although not all relationships that happen at this time are rebound relationships, and some relationships that happen even years after a break-up can be affected if one partner still has baggage.

If you are dating a separated man or someone who has recently had a relationship end, there are a few tell-tale signs that he may not be over his ex. If he frequently mentions his ex, even if it is to complain about her, she is clearly on his mind a lot (however, if he is still going through the legal process of a divorce, or has children with his ex, it can be a little more complicated and difficult for him to remove her from his life). If he is either emotionally distant or too eager to commit to a serious relationship as quickly as possible, he may be seeking a relationship with you just to avoid confronting loneliness. It is much better for you to date a man who wants you for who you are, not as a replacement for a lost lover.

4. The Needy Man

While everyone wants to feel needed sometimes, it can be very stressful and suffocating to deal with a needy boyfriend all the time. If he is unable to spend any time away from you without bombarding you with text messages or phone calls, this is a bad sign. Being close to your partner and loving their company is ideal of course, but being completely dependent on your partner is not healthy and is likely to cause problems.

Dating a man who makes you feel needed and loves to be with you is wonderful, but watch out that his neediness doesn’t cross the line and become restrictive. A man who showers you with attention and wants to spend every second of every day with you is likely to win your affections during the early stages of dating, but think of the future. Do you really want to always find it difficult to spend time on your own or with friends and family without feeling bad about it? Do you really want to feel smothered and unable to be independent?

3. The Controlling Man

A man being controlling is one of the biggest red flags in dating. If he feels like he “owns” you he is not going to treat you with the respect that you deserve in a relationship. He may tell you what to do, what to wear, or who you are not “allowed” to spend time with. Some women mistake this kind of controlling behavior for being caring and loving, but it is anything but. 

Controlling behavior is not always as obvious as telling you what to do. Some men are more skilled than others at hiding their controlling actions and emotionally manipulating you. For example, a man who often guilt-trips you, behaves in a passive-aggressive manner, or complains when you spend time with friends is probably trying to control you on some level. If you notice him doing any of these things early on, it is likely to get even worse the longer the relationship goes on. Being controlling is often the first step towards becoming abusive or even dangerous to you.

If you feel controlled or restricted by a man you are dating, it is probably best to move on and find somebody else. After all, he’s supposed to be your boyfriend, not your dad.

2. The Misogynist

A man who doesn’t respect women in general is unlikely to respect you. Misogyny is sometimes obvious and sometimes is well concealed. He may not be likely to directly tell you that he does not respect women, but you can usually spot it if you pay attention.

Some sexist men will appear to treat you wonderfully, especially during the early stages of dating, but you will eventually feel restricted by the reality of a relationship with them. For example, he may buy you flowers, insist on paying for everything on dates, and lend you his jacket to keep you warm, but believe that this entitles him to sex at the end of the night regardless of how you feel. Men who are aggressive or passive-aggressive after being denied sex (or anything else they may want from you) are usually displaying an entitlement complex and a lack of respect for you.

Controlling behavior, like the behavior mentioned earlier, is often one aspect of a misogynistic worldview. Other giveaways that the man you are dating may be misogynistic include not helping with any household chores, talking over you, and passing off cruel comments or put-downs as “just jokes”. Think about how he talks about other women—if he is generally critical and judgmental of women, he is likely to think that way of you also, even if he doesn’t say it.

1. The Secretive Man

It is normal to have some secrets from people that you are not yet close to. Most of us don’t share our entire life story with someone during the first few dates! However, if a man seems to be more secretive than usual and you feel like he is hiding something from you, this may be a sign he is to be avoided. 

If he cancels plans without telling you why, or seems to be deliberately vague about many things or unwilling to give information about (for example) how he spent the weekend, this is not a man who you will be able to rely on. He may be hiding the fact that he is having affairs, has a drinking or drug problem, or anything else that you may not approve of. A friend of mine once dated a guy for almost 6 months before finding out that he had been married with children the whole time!

People are complex, and seeing one or even a couple of these signs in a man from time to time doesn’t always mean he is completely wrong for you. However, being aware of what types of men to look out for can help you to avoid heartbreak in your dating life!

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