How To Choose The Right Man For Marriage

A woman’s right to choose has been challenged in many arenas – none so frustrating than in dating. The history of marriage isn’t a happy one for women. Whether they were sold off as child brides, promised from birth to wed, or pressured by culture, the idea of a woman choosing a man for marriage is somewhat of a fairytale.

Imagine Rapunzel actually declining the Prince and just saying, ‘Ah I’ll wait for the next guy, thanks.’ Unfortunately, the idea that a woman chooses her husband is a novelty. Even in the modern era of women’s empowerment, when it comes to love and dating women rarely feel like the ‘choosers’.

If you’re a single woman and you want to be married, the ONLY way to find the right husband is to choose.

Dump The Less Qualified

Walking away from potential can sometimes feel hard. Not every man you meet do you need to give a “chance” but there are some men who are close to qualified but just not it. If you were to think of finding a husband like finding a job then the fastest way to the right candidate is to ditch the less qualified.

The challenge for most women is knowing whether someone is qualified to be a loving husband or not.

There are two ways:

  • He wants to be
  • He is willing to be

No matter how perfect a man seems on paper, or how imperfect he seems in real life the first qualifier should be his willingness to be in a relationship. If he wants what you want then there is a good chance he is qualified. Creating a solid foundation starts with a man who wants to become a good husband. This is more productive than dating a man who is set in his ways and incapable of true partnership. Many women date on potential when they should be dating on desire.

A man that wants to be married makes it clear to you. He doesn’t play games and he doesn’t waste time. This man isn’t always easy to spot but you know him when you find him. He’s excited about you and you’re not confused about his feelings.

A man that is willing to be is someone’s husband will honor any requests that you have for exclusivity and compromise. He is willing to move the relationship forward at your request instead of providing excuses for why you should wait or operate on his timeline.

Ask The Right Questions

If you’re not certain of a man’s intentions, just ask. This isn’t the question that you pose on the first date, maybe not even the third date but if you’re serious about being in a healthy relationship, you have to open a healthy dialogue about what you both want. If you’re not asking the right questions then you’re leaving yourself open to being misled or used.

What questions should you be asking?

  • When was your last relationship?
  • Do you see yourself getting married?
  • Who has a relationship that you admire?

Just because a man wants a relationship, or a marriage, doesn’t mean that he wants those things with you. Asking general questions is a great way to temperature check his intentions but eventually you’ll need to get specific. Many women are afraid to ask these questions, or any direct questions, because it will mean acting on the answers.

This could mean being uncomfortable with the truth if the answers aren’t aligned with your desires. The risk of knowing is sometimes too much but if you’re interested in marriage then open communication is the key. If you’re afraid of the question because you don’t want to know the answer there are more serious concerns at hand.

The choice of who you marry is yours. This idea is counter to what many women have been taught. Historically, the choice of who to marry has not always belonged to the woman. Embracing the power that a woman now has to choose her husband is difficult for many but absolutely mandatory for her success.

You’ve heard the statistics :

  • There are more women than men
  • The chance of a woman over 40 marrying is less than getting struck by lightning (which has now been debunked)
  • Men prefer younger women

While these limiting statistics are widely circulated, the gender ratio – the ratio between the number of males and females in society – still reports that men outnumber women in birth.

The many ways that women are taught that they are not in a position to choose are vast and varied. But it still remains that women are indeed the prize and who they select for a husband is part of their instinctual DNA. Even when markets are perceived to be limited, the opportunity for individual advancement exists. If you can believe in an abundance of men, you’ll likely find the one that you want.

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