When we contemplate marriage, age is one factor that comes into mind. But the big question is- does age really matter? Do we have marriages that have survived despite a significant age gap? People often perceive that age gap couples are doomed.
But the reality is – you can make any relationship work if you are deliberate about it.
Finding a compatible partner is all you need. This has been made easier in this modern era. Just a few clicks on the best dating sites 2021 can connect people to their ideal marriage partners regardless of the age gap. Let’s dive in and see how we can make a large age gap marriage work.
Acknowledge Your Age Gap Differences
The differences in a significant age gap marriage can be numerous. Discrepancies exist in terms of personality, interests, expectations, behaviors, career choices, hobbies, life purposes, values, and beliefs. All these can be a source of frustration for any age gap couple. You will not always be on the same page, and the variations in your life stages alone can fuel the challenges.
It is advisable to identify and accept your differences. Acknowledge the fact that you are two unique individuals who are bound to differ in life’s perspectives. Then find a perfect balance for the relationship. Give each other space to be your authentic selves, have fun with friends separately, differ in opinions but support each other.
Accept your partner for who they are and focus more on your strengths or similarities. It is wise to discuss your core values and expectations. Each partner should be willing to adjust and give up something to create peace. Allow your differences to bring you together and not pull you apart.
Deal with Societal Pressure Wisely
A considerable age gap may not be a big deal for some partners. But society is unforgiving. It prejudices any relationship considered to be against the norm, such as those related to a significant age gap. People may devalue your union and pressurize you to drop a partner whose age is not fit for you.
A study conducted in 2006 reveals that social disapproval can influence such relationships negatively. If you find yourself in an age gap love, be ready to protect it with wisdom amid criticisms. Do not allow social stigma to take a toll on your age gap relationship. Many have survived the pressure.
George Clooney & Amal, and Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively, are just but a few examples of age gap couples whose relationships have stood the test of time. You, too, can do it if you master the art of navigating through social prejudice.
Avoid overthinking the age gap difference and see it like a normal relationship. Ignore the haters and respond positively to negative comments. Learn to stand up for your partner when the need arises. Compensate the discrimination by supporting each other, investing in your relationship, committing to make it work, and connecting emotionally. If need be, go for those couples workshops and therapies to strengthen your union.
Have Realistic Expectations
Partners with a significant age gap bring different aspects of life into a relationship. Different expectations come into play. If you fail to communicate and merge them, it can drown your beautiful age gap relationship.
One partner may want to pursue their career while the other may be into childbirth. Don’t enter into such a marriage expecting your partner to sustain you, pay bills, and make you happy. In some other cases, you expect them to act, think, dress, talk or eat in a certain manner. This is not always possible. Unmet expectations nurture feelings of resentment and can ruin relationships.
Couples with a large age gap often place high expectations on their partners. When one partner is so demanding, it makes the other partner feel inadequate and have low self-esteem if they fail to fulfill those demands. For your relationship to work, you must keep your expectations realistic and, if possible- limit them. Appreciate your spouse for who they are and have a sense of contentment.
Relationships with a large age gap can be challenging. But that does not mean they cannot work. You only need to put in some extra effort and maintain a positive attitude. You will be able to thrive beyond the barriers caused by society and generation differences. Are you in a relationship with a much older or younger partner? How do you make it work? Let us know in the comments.
Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.