give a man your number

Is It Ok To Give A Man Your Phone Number

Let’s say you’ve met a really great guy.

He is interesting, sexy, and funny and you find his energy quite appealing. If this were a few decades earlier it would be assumed that him asking for your number meant he was interested in dating you. If you were lucky enough to meet this amazing man before the era of cellphones, there would be no doubt that you should definitely give him your phone number.

Unfortunately, dating isn’t as simple and straightforward as that anymore.

Should You Give A Guy Your Phone Number?

Is it acceptable?

For years, culture believed that anyone who made the first move was the one with the power. Dating coach Matthew Hussey always makes the argument that since the days of dropping a well-timed handkerchief, women have been making the first move. Sometime into the 19th century the power shifted into the hands of the man.

In the modern world of dating, the power can be exchanged between the person who gives the number and the person who asks. When the cellphone was introduced and with it caller ID, generations began to feel more empowered. Gone were the days to needlessly wait by the phone for a call. This mobility ushered in an era, which no one can seem to name, where men began to gamify dating. Getting a woman’s phone number was no longer a sign of interest but a playful game to help men face their rejection.

Today, if you are a woman who gives a man your phone number there is a likely chance that he will never call. So why should you bother giving a man your phone number at all. Dating comes with many unspoken rules but none so complex than exchanging numbers. Let’s explore the pros and cons of giving a man your number and some alternatives of what you can do instead.

Should You Give A Guy Your Phone Number?

It depends on where you met.

There seems to be a million and one ways to connect with someone these days without having their phone number. There is Facebook, Gchat, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin, Twitch, and other social media platforms. There are dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and Raya. If you met online – maybe this guy has respectfully slipped into your DMs – it stands to reason that you might not want to give your phone number right away.

What if it is a catfish, or you just don’t know him well enough to want him to directly text you.

If you have met online then waiting a few weeks to give a man your phone number isn’t a bad thing. Getting to know someone via text can be difficult but if you’ve connected on a dating app, there are many ways to get in touch.

  • Leave a voice note so he can hear your voice
  • Start a video call so you can identify that he’s not a catfish
  • Send a quick video so he knows that you are real as well

If you met in person, it’s not uncommon to exchange IG accounts. This makes it easy to stay connected and to message instantly while getting to know a little bit more about him. Sometimes phone numbers can get lost in your contacts.

Maybe you have an extremely common name, or you just happen to know 3 Michaels, who’s last name you never verified. Exchanging numbers can be a barrier to adding context to the meeting. Then you have to add something cheesy like ‘Michael from last night’ and we all know how rarely those contacts ever get changed.

Should You Give A Guy Your Phone Number?

What are you looking for.

Ghosting is real, and NOT giving a guy your number is one way to technically avoid getting ghosted. If you are connected on social media it’s far easier to track his activity and find opportune times to make contact. And he probably enjoys the ability to see what you’re doing in your everyday life. If you connect on Snapchat instead of via phone numbers, you can send each other private messages and start inside jokes.

This is great for a playful flirtation and maybe a relationship that isn’t as serious. If you’re looking for a long term relationship or a serious boyfriend then speaking on the phone is the best to get connected right away. You don’t want to start off a relationship giving too much, so phone calls are a great way to have mutual investment. Maybe he calls you first and you take turns calling each other. That is real effort. A text is not.

If you’re looking for a long-term/serious relationship then exchanging phone numbers is the best way to kick things off. Adding another layer to their personality including their voice is a great way to build rapport. If you the man in person then you know right off the bat that the chemistry is there.

If you’ve only met online however, it’s best to establish rapport as soon as possible. This means jumping on a call to make sure there is chemistry and mutual interest. Giving a man your number is ok but it might be smart to take his if you’re really interested. Keep in mind there is also the luxury of social media, you don’t need to break that boundary if you don’t want it.

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