No matter how you slice it, 9 times out of 10, for one person the breakup is the best thing that could ever happen to them. For the other person…it’s a living Hell.
Let’s face it. Breakups have winners and losers. If you’ve ever been broken up with, getting some lame excuse like “it’s not you it’s me” and then seeing them on Instagram three days later with their ex is the worst thing in the world.
You probably feel like sh*t. Like you weren’t worthy of that persons love, and you probably cry a lot in the shower. Not that that’s ever happened to me, of course.
After this people feel the need to “rebound” and like whoever has sex first with a new person “wins the breakup.”
In the words of Jamie Foxx…
“Well hear this…F***. THAT. S***.”
In fact you’ll find rebounding too soon often times just makes you miss the other person even more!
Here’s a secret: you don’t have to rebound with another person.
You need to rebound with yourself. Chances are, during the relationship you lost touch with who you really are and what your purpose is. Take some time, be alone. Work on yourself. The best way to take your mind off of a failed relationship is to focus on something completely different, from where you can get another form of validation.
Relationships provide what’s called “oxytocin” which is a chemical more powerful than cocaine. When we fall in love, what’s really happening is we are starting to depend on another person for our hit of oxytocin.
But relationships aren’t the only oxytocin plug in town, baby. You can get oxytocin from YOURSELF. (Something the government doesn’t want you to know.)
If there’s a sport you’ve been wanting to get into, or a business you’ve been wanting to start, nothing will be better for you then proving to yourself that you’re still a cool person when you impress yourself by accomplishing a particular goal you’ve been dreaming about.
Also take some time and be kind to yourself. Make notes on what went wrong, and don’t cast the blame solely on the other person. Chances are you did something at some point to either make the other person less attracted to you, or you did something stupid like cheat. Whatever you did, write it down. This will make sure you don’t repeat it in future relationships.
A few months or years down the road, when you inevitably run into your ex, he or she will see how far you’ve progressed in LIFE as a whole, while they’re still stuck with that piece of crap he or she left you for. Who’s the winner here? You’ll probably find that breaking up was actually the best thing that’s ever happened to you, if you can find a way to leverage the pain to propel yourself forward in life, rather than letting it ruin you.
So take some time, mourn, eat cookies, and then pick something you want to focus on (not another relationship), and use that pain to give you the motivation to succeed. You’ll probably end up meeting someone even better while on your journey.
Or, I guess there’s always Tinder.
If you or someone you know about is going through a breakup, send this article to them and give them the kick in the pants they need to get up and get going again.