There is a right and wrong way to jump into sex, after a break up. As much as people might hate to admit it, sex after a breakup can feel fantastic. It’s not just because you’re excited to be with someone other than your ex, but also because of the therapeutic effects of sex. Sex can cause the release of hormones in your brain that can help ease pain and make you feel better, even after you’ve gone through the most painful breakups.

If sex is so great, why do experts recommend that you stay away from it immediately after a breakup? After all, it can make you feel better, which is exactly what you want after a heartbreaking encounter. The answer lies in HOW you have sex after a breakup.

After a breakup, your mind is still adjusting to the fact that you’re no longer connected to someone in the way you used to be. As a result, having sex with random people is only going to worsen the pain you feel. It’s not uncommon to start expecting emotional commitment from your new sexual partner(s). When that doesn’t happen, it can cause you to feel new kinds of pain and Rejection.

Don’t Have Sex Before You’ve Completely Healed.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s a partnership with the other person. You start to do things together. You support each other’s decisions. You even make sacrifices for each other. If you were in a serious relationship, then all your friends probably know each other by now.

This is why breakups are so hard. There’s a divide you now have to create in your life. You have to separate the things that were theirs from the things that were yours. If you go off having sex with other people before you’ve completely sealed off this divide, it can hurt you emotionally. This is why the very first rule is that you shouldn’t have sex when you’re still healing. You should definitely wait until you’re sure you’ve moved on.

That been said, it’s a hard thing to stay away from sex, with or without breakup. The good news is that there are situations where having sex immediately after a breakup is therapeutic, maybe even recommended.

You Can Have Sex When It Makes You Feel Better.

If your breakup is getting you down and making you feel rejected, having sex with someone who really desires you might be good for your self-esteem. It lets you know you’re wanted and that your ex made a big mistake. This behavior can be healthy and help you to move on more quickly by associating a fun act with someone new. You can prove to yourself that it’s possible to create a connection with someone new.

You might even find that you’re ready to move into a new relationship and creating intimacy helped.

You Can Have Sex With… Yourself.

Masturbation is the best way to relieve sexual tension immediately after you’ve had a breakup. That way, you’re not making love with new sexual partners and exposing yourself to hurt. You’re also not seeking out some of the exes you’ve had in the past.

You’re simply experiencing pleasure all by yourself. You’d still feel as good as you will if you had sex with someone else, but this time, you experience none of the risks or side effects. Getting yourself the right sex toy, from popular sites like omg kinky might just be what you need after a serious breakup.

Breakups are incredibly painful. But then, if done right, they can help you heal and set you free from a host of emotional and psychological baggage. That’s why it’s recommended that you stay away from sex until you’ve fully recovered.