Are you dating the right guy?
This question is one that women are constantly asking (Me).
While there may be many partners with the potential to make you happy, if there’s a better option than the men you’ve already experienced it’s important to explore that… right? Let’s say you’ve met a man that you really like, possibly love. Let’s say you’ve spent a considerable amount of time with this person and you’ve reached a point in the relationship where it’s important to decide if your courtship has a future that could lead to permanent commitment.
How should you judge this person’s ability to be your life partner?
Through my years of research and experience in the dating and relationship advice world I’ve learned a little truth about compatibility: it doesn’t exist unless you want it to.
The idea of “The One” implies we all have a well-matched piece to our complicated puzzle. It purports that some people will fit into our world while others won’t have the genetic makeup to do so.
False.
Compatibility is all in the mind. Love can be without conflict if you let it and anyone YES, ANYONE can be won over to any point of view with the right persuasion.
So if you believe that soul mates live outside of fantasy there’s nothing wrong with that but I’ve come to a more logical conclusion.
This is my opinion based solely on my work in the dating field. It appears to me that a man is “The One” when he wants what you want at the same time that you want it.
If he doesn’t want the same future, on the same timeline then he is not “The One” for you.
Many women will argue that it takes time for men to come around and to commit but I’ve found this isn’t true. Commitment is something a man decides while he’s dating you, a man knows if he’s willing to commit long before he EVER meets you.
As most women know a man who has decided not to commit, won’t. No matter how wonderful you are or how amazing the sex is.
Commitment is step two in the decision making process. The first step is actually making a decision. If a man hasn’t decided that commitment and marriage are in his future before he meets you, it’s very unlikely that he will make that decision while he’s dating you.
It’s no surprise that a man can end a long-term relationship then marry the next woman he dates that he’s only known a hot second.
Simply because he decided he wanted a lasting relationship before he even got into one and lo and behold, that chick was on the same page.
For women who want to believe that if they just hold on, their man will come around and put a ring on it, which he just might. That doesn’t make him “The One” just because you broke him down over time.
A man that is your partner and wants what you want at the same time that you want it, is “The One”. If you’re with a partner who doesn’t see your romantic future as clearly as you do, you’re better off finding someone else who does, trust me.
Thoughts?