Your first year of marriage will be wonderful, but it still has its share of highs and lows. According to experts, the transition process during the first year of marriage can be very difficult. During the crucial year, both spouses are prone to making a number of errors.
However, if you’re aware of the errors you’re making, you could work with your partner to correct them. So, here are seven of the most common mistakes couples make during their first year of marriage together:
Nesting is a temporary situation in which parents agree to live together in the same house and take turns being “on duty” with their offspring. The children remain at home full-time, giving them more time to adjust to the family’s other shifts. When the parents are “off-duty,” they can live in different parts of the house or, more generally, in another location.
Such parents live in the off-site house together, and others live separately or with friends or relatives. If the marital status is in flux, the intention is normally to have a safe home for the children. These parents hammer out correspondence, plans, and financial arrangements.
Nesting works best with parents who can speak politely with one another and who can leave the family home in a fair state while handing over responsibilities to the other parent. For parents who have little dispute, nesting can be a good option.
These parents are able to prioritize the well-being of their children over their own. Moving in and out of the family home may be difficult, and these parents have direct knowledge of what their offspring may go through as they live underneath both roofs.
In the first year of marriage, nesting too much is highly discouraged by most marriage counselors and experts. It distorts the time you should take together as a couple.
2. Expecting them to be different
An indication of strength in a relationship is believing that you and your other half know each other well enough to consider and predict each other’s needs. (Hooray!) However, when you use it to believe that your companion is ignoring your emotions on purpose when they do something that scares you, yeah, that’s not so sweet.
You can’t trust someone to understand your thoughts, and you shouldn’t expect them to necessarily want to do as you do (or know what you want to do without you saying it).
As always, avoid the drama by having neutral and mutual discussions about everything. And don’t expect them to be different from what people normally are.
3. Overpaying for the wedding
One of the most daunting aspects of preparing your own wedding is avoiding overspending on your wedding costs – something that most couples struggle with. After the wedding, you’ll need money to start your life together, whether it’s for a house, a new car, or even a baby.
If you overspend on your wedding day budget, you will find it impossible to reclaim or settle your debts. This should not be a concern if you have a reasonable budget to work with while planning your special day. The truth is that most of us don’t have unlimited funds to arrange our fantasy weddings.
And that’s why it would be best to work with what you have. For instance, when considering a wedding ring, why not opt for moissanite, as a cheaper alternative to diamonds?
4. Hiding their financial history
Your marriage is unlikely to be ruined by a hoard of cash hidden in the bottom of a cookie jar. However, discovering that your partner defrauds you financially might spell the end of the relationship. In a strained union, financial infidelity can be the deciding factor in calling it quits.
Lying about money is one of the most popular warning signals or red flags in a marriage. About the fact that one of every three people admits to lying to their partner about money, the question is much too important to ignore. Small financial lies will lead to even more destructive habits in your relationship.
5. Not taking ownership of mistakes
There is no such thing as a flawless being. Marriage exemplifies this reality in a way that few other partnerships do. Problems may also occur as a result of particular personality characteristics or faults, such as selfishness, laziness, or mistreatment. Admit you don’t get it all together and confess your offenses.
Honesty is a necessary component of any successful partnership. Admitting your flaws helps you to discuss the problem with your partner and work on it together. It lays out a simple plan for moving ahead in a single direction rather than in opposite directions.
6. Not making time for each other
Making time with your partner is crucial, as we all know. Spending quality time with your partner reinforces your union, but we find it difficult to do so because we are too preoccupied with making money or pursuing any other kind of enjoyment.
Draw up a family calendar at the end of each year, possibly in the last week of December, wherein you include the proposed length of time you will attempt to spend with each other every week, followed by the real amount of time you will spend with each other in a week.
Make a promise to each other to do your part and stick to the schedule. This will raise the chances that you will take the entire thing seriously.
7. Forgetting the romance
Couples often end up forgetting their romantic relationship just because they’re finally in marriage. This is very wrong, and you should try and avoid it from happening when you can. Spice up the marriage by going out and spending time with each other more often. Keep the fire burning.
Luke Fitzpatrick has been published in Forbes, Yahoo News, and Influencive. He is also a guest lecturer at the University of Sydney, lecturing in Cross-Cultural Management and the Pre-MBA Program.