There is no better feeling than the person you like, liking you back. When you first start dating someone the relationship (or talking phase) is incredible. It’s exciting. You get butterflies when they text you and you are over the moon when your man asks you on a date. But that doesn’t always last.
Hundreds of dating advice articles have been centered around the idea of keeping a man’s attention because let’s face it. Men are like distracted puppies. Butterflies, traffic noise, or you name it take away their attention. When you’re dating a man, you would prefer that all of his attention be on you. It feels good. It makes you happy. But how do you make it last?
Give It Time
It’s human nature to rush relationships.
The certainty that this man is the right one for you – that causes you to forgo anyone else – makes you impatient. In the metaphysical sense, if he is yours, he is yours. There is no need to worry. But in reality, it’s easy to feel anxious that the person you like might not like you back. You might also worry that they like you now, but could suddenly slip away.
If you want to keep a man interested in you, you have to be patient. An impatient woman can react irrationally.
If your impatience is hurting your relationship it’s likely to manifest in the following:
- Feeling sad when he doesn’t call
- Feeling sad when you don’t make plans
- Feeling sad if he blows you off
None of the behaviour above feels good, and to some it might be unacceptable. In dating, you have to be patient with your partner and get to know him. If his behaviour is rude then maybe he’s a rude person. It could be that he doesn’t know that his behaviour bothers you.
The worst thing you can do is be impatient and feel insecure because of your man’s actions. You don’t need him to be perfect in the very beginning because likely if he is, it’s an act. The better solution is to be patient with him and with yourself.
Every time your man disappoints you, think about his actions. Is it a personality flaw or bad characteristic? Or just a bad habit?
Bad habits can change. Give yourself time to observe his behaviour and let it go. He will be impressed with the fact that you are giving the relationship time to grow and not just forcing it because you like him.
Patience and mystery go hand in hand.
Being mysterious isn’t about holding back information. It’s about observing your man before you lay your cards out on the line. Most women believe that a man needs to get to know her in order to like her so they tend to overshare from the very beginning.
A man will like you because he feels like he can be himself with you. Unfortunately to say, it has little to do with your past, your hopes and dreams, or any specific personal information that you might share. The idea of “getting to know someone” is very different for men and women.
Because of this, women should remain mysterious in the beginning phases of dating. A man wants to figure you out. He wants to know how you work but not by you telling him. He wants the reward of solving clues to your personality.
So you should do the following:
- Ask more questions than you answer
- Delay answering serious or deep questions in the beginning
- Enjoy his company instead of forcing deep conversations
Don’t Get Angry
When you’re dating a guy and he begins to show signs of pulling away, it’s very easy to get angry. Understand that no matter how justified your anger is, men don’t like to fail. If he thinks he isn’t making you happy, he won’t try harder. That is what women do. Instead he will pull away. He will date a woman who approaches disappointment differently. Its not that she is accepting the behaviour, she just isn’t angered by it.
All men will disappoint their woman at some point. Men and women are just wired differently. When you get angry at a man, you are making your happiness his responsibility. Instead of being angry at your guy for inconsiderate behaviour, remind yourself that you have the option to date someone else.
Instead of being angry, accept that what is done is done.
When you are together, let him know that you didn’t like that behavior. Tell him what he can do to make you happy, and what you like. When a man knows what to do, he’s more likely to do it. If you are angry at his behaviour he will take it as a sign that he isn’t good enough for you and then he will pull away.
The takeaway for keeping a man interested is to understand that his interest in you will never stay the same. It is either growing and you are bonding, or it is diminishing and he is pulling away. The goal then is not to keep his interest but instead to deepen your bond with him. Focus on building a strong bond together and he will be yours.