The most commonly asked question in dating is, “How can I get him to commit”? The caveat being without trickery, game playing or mind control. How can you tell that a man is serious about you if he isn’t ready or willing to commit? The truth is men are happy to commit when their needs are being met. Unlike women, men seek relationships with their ideal partner in the now, not someone they see with potential in the future. Below are the three best tips for getting commitment from the man you’re dating without tricks, games or playing hard to get.
Men commit based on how the relationship currently feels not how it could be. If you want a man to commit to you then you must make a compelling case for the present not the future.
Get To Know Him
Every man has the deep desire to be known and accepted as the man he is not who he could be. Women have a bad habit of dating potential. Who a man is at the moment you meet him is exactly who he wants to be judged as. A great way to tell how well you know a man is if you can accurately gage what he’s doing when he isn’t calling.
Humans are creatures of habit. When a man you’re dating doesn’t answer his phone or hasn’t reached out to you a woman who has done her homework doesn’t worry. She already knows he’s sleeping, at the gym, or working late etc.
She knows this because she has paid close attention to his habits and routines. She knows whether he’s likely to catch a drink after work or spend time reading. She not only understands his behavior but she accepts it. She doesn’t try to deny the fact that he’s out with other women or a player. She has an accurate assessment of who this man is and has decided he is who she wants to be with.
Keep Him Guessing
It might seem appealing to lay you cards on the table when dating a man you want commitment from but men love mystery. Not to be confused with deception, men love to figure women out. The longer it takes a man to figure a woman out, the more intrigued he becomes with her and the more he is willing to commit.
If you are too available, or too accommodating a man will assume he knows what you want and he will have no desire to probe deeper (much less give it to you). If you keep a man slightly unsure about who you are, and what you want, he will see you as different from other women. Once a man believes that you are different he’s more likely to commit to you because a woman like you is rare.
Set Strict Boundaries
If dating is a game then you are the prize and boundaries are the rules. Setting strict boundaries makes the objective clear. If he wants the prize, you, then he must play by the rules, boundaries. Don’t believe that if you give into a man or bend on your rules that you will win him over.
A man will never commit to a woman who easily gives him anything that he wants. Men like the challenge. You can set boundaries with your time, your body and your emotional investments. By making the line between dating and “boyfriend/girlfriend” clear with boundaries, a man will be willing to commit to earn the benefits of a boyfriend.
If you give a man too many benefits before he feels he has earned them he will feel trapped and avoid commitment with you. Although there are exceptions to every rule what remains constant is our nature as humans to want what we have worked for. If you have fun in your relationship, keep your man guessing and set clear boundaries you will get the commitment you desire.
It might take some discipline on your part but it will be worth it. You will both feel happier together once the relationship is defined.