The longer you know the person, the more their sides open before you and the better you understand their personality. It seems that after you have been dating for several years, you are able to read each other’s mind, and no conflicts should arise between you. However, not all people change or give up their habits, and that is what their partner will notice after living together for a couple of years. The daily grind and the routine of spending all the time in the company of your loved one add pressure to this too. One day, you wake up and realize that you are fed up with a living, eating, going to the cinema, having sex, and building plans with the same person. How to deal with this and many other challenges is the topic of today’s investigation.
1. Loss of trust
The initial absence or loss of trust leads to the fact that the base of relationships collapses in a matter of a moment: feelings of security and reliability disappear. Trust destroys jealousy (justified or unreasonable) and gives you the feeling of support in the face of your partner; it is your feeling of common sense that keeps you from not conscious actions, while the realization that the partner does not fulfill their promises mixed in a cool cocktail of suspicion and resentment is something that people who live long together suffer from.
Mistrust entails the excruciating existence of a couple: reproaches, interrogations, a nasty feeling of being constantly deceived, feeling of guilt, restriction of the partner’s freedom which can damage their career and social interaction.
2. Different goals in life
It is quite hard for a person to stay alone and do everything in life on their own; that is why people need people. But a couple cannot exist if you are set for different directions. If the life goals of the partners do not overlap in any way and do not have common touch points, their long-term relationships face a real challenge. For example, it will be hard for Instagram hot girls to understand the life priorities of career-focused workaholics.
Sometimes relationships even prevent one of the partners from moving towards their intended goals and living the way they want to. This will result in one of the partners later accusing their loved ones of putting pressure on them and being selfish.
3. Unfulfilled expectations
We are happy when everything happens the way we imagined or better. And we get disappointed when reality turns out to be worse than expected. Deceived expectations associated with a partner lead to frustration and anger which we later pour at them in the first quarrel.
In our heads, there is an image of a partner and what we want our relationships to be. Unfortunately, a loved one has no idea about this picture and is unlikely that they want to go all out to match it.
However, we do not give up hope after all to improve the partner to match our ideal. Hence the constant whining and discontent, criticism of everything that a partner does, and ignoring their achievements which do not fit into the desired picture are common problems of a long-term relationship when the same accusations continue for years.
4. Habits and traits of character we cannot tolerate
We are talking about those addictions and habits that make life unbearable: alcoholism, gambling, and drug addiction. Undoubtedly, when problems only originate, the support of a loved one can help cope with them. But, unfortunately, very often nothing helps, at least until the person realizes that they need to fight.
Add here the pathological dependence on their ex-lover should be counted too, the struggle over which will most likely never end, no matter how much energy and strength they put into the relationship. Talking about less specific things, messing up the clothes, not washing dishes after a meal, or constantly forgetting things you have asked your partner to do can really make you lose your nerve one day.
5. Drifting apart, boredom, getting used to a person
Different goals and problems with communication lead to the fact that partners are mentally moving apart from each other. They can hold together through the fear of loneliness, children, or financial dependence. But when there is no restraining cause, the couple quickly breaks up.
A classic example is the empty nest syndrome. When children grow up and leave their home, parents suddenly feel like strangers; they have nothing in common because, for many years, they have been focused on children and have forgotten about communicating with each other about their interests, dreams, and attitudes towards certain topics.
Getting used to a person is another big problem when you no longer feel crazy in love, and everything about a partner seems so boring and familiar that this relationship no longer excites you.