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Are Your Expectations Helping Or Hurting Your Dating Life?

Are Your Expectations Helping Or Hurting Your Dating Life?

My new obsession is the BBC show ‘Luther’ starring my old obsession Idris Elba. He’s tall, handsome, distinguished, and intelligent and that British accent is just as sexy as it wants to be. Do I expect to run into an Idris Elba look-alike anytime soon? No. But could I see myself dating that ‘type’ of man, of course.

Meeting the people we can imagine ourselves dating treating us the way we want to be treated is a rare thing in dating. It’s happened to me a few times but I can’t say I was smart enough to take advantage of those situations.

Nowadays I don’t get what I expect as often as I want and it has me thinking, should I still want it? Is what you want still realistic and at this point do you expect to get it.

To say no is defeatist. You can get whatever you want, once you believe right? I mean… I want to believe that but do I? Am I acting like I do? No, because I’m not dating an Idris Elba look-alike and currently I am not holding out for one either because what comes with expectations are inevitably disappointments.

Dating is complicated enough without compounding it with misplaced expectations. Then I have to wonder, do I have high hopes for my dating life or not? Am I worth waiting for what I want or not? Is waiting even a smart idea? Isn’t time of the essence, isn’t now all we have, will the right person ever come along? One question only leads to the next, one after another.

One thing I know, you’ll never get what you want unless you try. If you don’t pursue the kinds of dates you want, you’re less likely to get them. What you want isn’t what someone else wants and it shouldn’t be. Don’t live your life according to other peoples’ standards. If it makes you happy, pursue it.

Keep your expectations as high as possible. When potential dates come close they’ll far exceed the status quo. The higher you keep your expectations the more you’ll get out of what you get. And when you get what you want, it will be amazing.


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