Every year, on February 14th, people all over the world celebrate love.
It is a day that is filled with a wide range of emotions, especially for those without a significant other. For some, this holiday is just another day, but for others, it can bring about feelings of extreme loneliness. It seems as though after Christmas everywhere you look something is promoting the holiday which can make people feel that much more single and it can be hard to deal with.
It is important to remember that being single is not a bad thing and there are actually many advantages to being single on Valentine’s Day. Let’s take a dive into these positive aspects and what you can do to limit the undesirable feelings this holiday can bring.
This over-commercialized holiday has evolved from celebrating the people you love, to planning an elaborate date with your significant other and buying them expensive things. One of the biggest advantages to being single on this day is you will have no pressure to be perfect. While others are pining over where they can impress their significant other with dinner reservations, and what gift will knock their socks off, you should find comfort in not having to impress anyone.
If you think about it, the way society has glorified this holiday puts an insane amount of pressure on relationships and you are saving yourself a ton of money and stress by being single. Cheers to that.
Couples do not go above and beyond for Valentine’s Day because they are necessarily in love, but because they feel like they are expected to. For example, Kanye West surprised Kim Kardashian West with world-renowned saxophone player, Kenny G, and roses in their living room last year.
The issue is, many people are secretly hoping for a Kanye-esque Valentine’s Day, and when their partner does not meet those expectations it will lead to disappointment.
More realistically, one of your friends is probably thinking this is the day she finally gets engaged just to end up getting leftover flowers from the grocery store because her partner forgot it was Valentine’s Day. Your friend had higher expectations than what her partner delivered and is now inevitably spending her Valentine’s Day upset. Since you likely have zero expectations for Valentine’s Day, it should feel good to know that you won’t be let down.
Single is better than the wrong relationship
Embrace your independence! Millions of people that will celebrate Valentine’s Day are very unsatisfied in their relationships and that is sad. The grass may seem greener on the other side, but kudos to you for not settling and wasting your time with the wrong person. Focus on realizing that you are complete on your own, and your relationship status does not define you.
Besides, there is not much a relationship can give you on Valentine’s Day that you cannot give yourself. If you want flowers, get yourself some flowers.
If you want a nice pair of earrings, make it happen. If you just need some extra love and attention, surround yourself with family and friends. Take care of yourself this Valentine’s Day because, as cliché as it may sound, the grass will always be greener where you water it.
How to keep yourself busy on Valentine’s Day
People are single because they are separated, divorced, widowed, casually dating, choose to be, do not choose to be, and likely several other reasons. The point is there are many variations to the word ‘single’ and these variations can bring about different types of emotion during Valentine’s Day. Maybe the pressure and disappointment that come with being in a relationship are not convincing reasons to enjoy being single because you desperately want a relationship and all that comes with it. Maybe Valentine’s Day reminds you of a past relationship that you wish had worked out, or maybe you just got out of a relationship and it reopens the wound.
People will experience different feelings during this holiday, but there are ways to distract yourself and make the most out of the 24 hours because wallowing will only make things worse. If nothing else, it can be reassuring to remind yourself that February 14th is no different than the 13th or the 15th and you are allowed to treat it as such. If that seems impossible, just remember it is only one day and life will go on no matter what feelings this specific day brings you.
Spend time with your single pals
Back in elementary school, we would give Valentine’s Day cards to all of our classmates, that’s because Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love but it is about platonic love, as well. Call your single friends and see if they want to go to dinner, drink some wine, watch a movie or just hangout. Chances are they feel some type of way about this holiday too and just because you may feel lonely, they can help remind you that you are not alone.
Meet someone new, it is the perfect time
If Valentine’s Day frustrates you because you wish you were in a relationship, it is time to stop wishing and start doing because Mr./Mrs. Right is not just going to show up on your doorstep. If a relationship is truly what you want, you need to be bold and go for it. Go to your local dive bar, yoga studio, coffee shop, or anywhere you enjoy spending time and just start talking to people. Chances are they are there on February 14th because they are single also.
Learn to be happy with yourself
The most beautiful thing about being single on Valentine’s Day is that you can do anything YOU want. That means you can even be sad all day if you choose to, but I don’t suggest it. The truth is, this is YOUR life and you are in charge of deciding what you want out of it. Use this day to recognize your feelings then shift your focus inward and get to know yourself. Why are you so uncomfortable being single? You will be a much better partner in the future if you learn how to be happy alone first. Plus, being truly happy with yourself will make you more confident and will help attract the right people into your life.
About the author
Aimee Kauffman, LPC is a therapist in East Lansing, Michigan specializing in individual therapy. She has a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University and has been in practice for more than a decade. Learn more here: https://www.aimeekauffman.com/