Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’ Conan O’Brien
Sometimes I think I just want to quit writing. Not because I don’t love what I do but because the information is so basic that within three posts I’ve already said what anyone would ever need to know to be a better dater.
Several other writers not just me, matchmakers, PUA teachers and more, are regurgitating the same information. The shit isn’t new, so it can sometimes be frustrating trying to find new ways to say it.
The real secret, if you want to call it that is to add value.
No matter who you are or what you do if you create value, you win. There are so many definitions of what one could mean when they use the word value but in dating its simple.
When you add value to a person’s life, you make them feel a way they could not achieve without you. Now, maybe they could. We all incite different feelings in one another. When someone you’re dating feels like they can recreate how you make them feel, or worse, don’t value how you make them feel, they leave. When you want potential dates to like you, you have to create a feeling that is so seemingly unique they can’t get it anywhere else. Consider yourself the Starbucks of love.
You can get coffee anywhere but at one point there was only one place to get Starbucks coffee. Love, support, appreciation, validation those are all emotions you can attribute to a multitude of people but when someone equates those positive feelings with you. You win.
So how can you apply the Starbucks method to your brand of love? Now before I go on I must make it clear that there is also an attachment to Wal-mart. Consumers can by lotion, laundry detergent or magazines anywhere but they shop at Wal-mart for the savings.
So let’s determine now, if you’re high-end coffee love or mass-produced, save a dollar, made in China love?
What do people value about coffee or any name brand item more than they value the competitor? It’s the experience. I would say the taste but what proof is there really that Starbucks coffee is superior in taste?
Have a Unique Look
Once you decide to reside on the upper echelon of the dating ladder, you have to create an identifying look. Any student of the pickup artist world can tell you the importance of creating a “look”. If you don’t have one, get one. Immediately. I don’t know if you know this but people are really superficial. The reason that your “look” matters more than you think is because the way others look at you will affect the way your partner feels when they’re with you. Who doesn’t feel special when their significant other turns heads?
What would be the point of buying an expensive cup of coffee if everyone couldn’t easily identify it as an expensive cup of coffee?
Now the price of your valuable love is where things become a little complicated for the every day dater. Everything has a value, even money. If a man takes you out to dinner and you sleep with him, he may equate your worth to the price of those cheddar biscuits.
On the other hand if a man takes you to dinner, spends a lot of money and you don’t sleep with him he may come to the conclusion that you must be worth more than he’s already spent. Do you see the logic?
With men it’s no different. If you want to prove yourself valuable to a woman, you may have to pay the high price. You may have to expose her to experiences she would almost never engage in on her own dime. Also, engage in activities that would be less exciting with any other man, i.e. sex.
Be Perceived as ‘Really Cool’
Making your potential date feel the value of your affection requires no money at all. You can create value by simply making another person feel confident and smart. As with Starbucks anyone who is committed to the brand knows that it’s a symbol of someone with expensive taste. What Starbucks provides isn’t just coffee, it’s an experience that you can’t get anywhere else.
In dating it’s hard to truly provide anything all too unique because we all just want the same thing, love. If you can however make yourself appear to offer a far superior product you’ll tower over the competition.
Thoughts?