The only thing that matters in dating is your success. That is what successful dating is about: living a love life that you love and making your happiness a priority. The last person you dated, or the last person to like you, might have seemed like your only chance at finding everlasting happiness but you are so wrong. I want you to face a truth about this past relationship you were in: it was bullshit.
The only reason you’re holding onto the good memories about the relationship that you created in your mind, (far removed from reality) is because secretly you believe that you’re the reason things ended. When we cling to past loves it’s because deep down we feel flawed, that there’s something wrong with us.
It might sound selfish or underhanded but it’s time YOU put your happiness first and let go of the pain of your last relationship.
You can begin to argue all you want but all the proof you need is that the relationship is over, probably for good but that’s not your fault. This is why you need to move forward and begin building genuine connections with new potential dates, that could possibly lead to real love.
The first reality that you must face about your EX is that they didn’t want what you had to offer. Ouch.
Not everyone we date is going to see our shine or value us. Looking back at your past relationship, and your EX, ask yourself: Did they value me? How do you treat something you value? With care, consideration and special treatment?
Being treated with value means you are considered, you are cared for and you are treated differently than anyone else in their life. It means you’re important. If your EX broke up with you, it means they didn’t think you had what they were looking for. I want you to stop creating excuses for why the break up happened when its obvious that whoever broke up with whom just wasn’t happy. And like I said from the start, above all else, your happiness is what matters.
I’m sure your break up is complicated but trying to figure out ‘what happened’ doesn’t change that it has happened. You need to get over your EX or the last person you dated ASAP.
How?
Accept that they didn’t want you, and that’s a good thing.
Have you ever heard the phrase, go where you’re celebrated not tolerated? It might be tough to believe but anyone who doesn’t want you and feel blessed to have you isn’t right for you!
The only reason you can’t find anyone who liked you as much as they last person or treated you as well as they did, is because you never let anyone in. You allowed this person access in your life where you have denied others.
It’s likely that you don’t let others in because you don’t want to be rejected but you have to let more people into your heart and your space if you want to find the right person for you.
Don’t have any contact with them, absolutely none.
Does it seem childish to you to move on with your life and ignore those who slap chopped your heart? Absolutely not! No contact is the only way to get over an EX. You will never rekindle your relationship unless you gain the power in the relationship and you will NEVER have the power if you engage them as the victim.
You lost power when you allowed communication to crash. You were too insecure to broach the tough subjects and tackle the problems in the relationship so your EX ended it without your input. Or possibly you ended things because you felt unfulfilled in the relationship.
Stepping away from the emotions can help you clear your mind about what the relationship really was. Take the time to decide what you truly want without the emotional influence of your ex. Regain control of how you feel by avoiding any contact with a past love that could stir negative emotions.
The only thing you control when it comes to your EX is their access to you. And guess what, access is denied.
Stop talking about them.
I want you to take a moment and think about how long it’s been since you were romantically involved with this person. I’ll wait. Those are the last twenty seconds of your life I want you to give to that relationship.
IT’S OVER, and you can’t go back.
To keep talking about the past only gives life to your pain. If you want to stop feeling bad about being dumped, duped, rejected or played don’t talk about it any more.
If that sounds difficult, it means you lack discipline and self-control.
You don’t need to worry about that person that doesn’t want you anymore. You have to know that what you offer in a relationship is valuable and if it isn’t then spend ALL of your time creating a love worth having. Not worrying about the love you had.
If you can’t show where you add value in a relationship, you won’t find yourself in one, anytime soon.
The key to moving on from a breakup or romantic disappointment is to release your expectations of what you thought it should’ve been. There isn’t anytime to cry about what might of been or never was, just focus on what is.
You deserve a love life that’s fulfilling and joyful. You deserve to be loved and appreciated. You will find the perfect partner once you give yourself freedom from your past. I hope this was helpful.