Are you still waiting for the perfect moment to perfect your game? Game is the technical term for the ability to seduce and influence romantic interests. When you’re single having ‘good game’ is well, a game changer. Imagine that you had the ability to see someone that you’re attracted to and with almost little effort get a date with them.
Even if you rarely run into sexy strangers, the question is: Are you proactive about making an introduction when you do? Most singles aren’t. Most single men and women wait for the perfect circumstances, or liquid courage, before they’ll actually open, (the correct pickup term) a stranger. The ever-so-intimidating battle to strike up a conversation goes on and on in our heads.
When most singles come into contact with someone they find attractive, they are likely to tell themselves that this attractive person is either taken, not their sexual orientation, uninterested, or all of the above. But what if the good-looking, potential date that you’re standing behind at Starbucks, or waiting next to at the train station is actually free and available to date?
This is typically the case. Single men and women are a growing population group around the world, with more adults living uncoupled today than in any other time in history. You know those stories that you heard in high school about the pretty girls home on Friday night because everyone assumed they already had dates but never actually had dates? Well, that’s a more common scenario than one might imagine.
Everyone wants to be picked up the right way, its actually flattering and fun. Experts constantly preach to single men and women to position themselves near and around potential dates. The rub is that you must also speak to them or what’s the point? What if you stood a chance with the very people you wish would approach you? Why wait until they got the nerve when you could take matters into your own hands?
I know you’re thinking that it can’t be so easy or you would’ve been done that, right? The art of approaching a good looking stranger and turning it into a successful interaction starts with (drum roll please…)
HAVE A PLAN
The typical dating advice article preaches that confidence is the key ingredient in successful dating. Before you find the nearest bridge and jump, understand that you can out wit confidence with repetition. When you begin to approach attractive singles its best to have a plan that allows you to know exactly what you will say and do. Once you perfect your ‘script’ you’ll have probability on your side. The more you do it, the better you will become and the action will eliminate the fear.
Do you think you’ll get rejected 100% of the time? That doesn’t happen to anyone. And use your adult brain to consider that you’re actually a pretty cool person, so why would you always get rejected. You wouldn’t! Logic is also on your side. At least it should be, but consider this; the way you’ve approached someone to ask for a date in the past wasn’t the right way. When strangers reject an offer it has nothing to do with what is being offered or even the person offering. You’ve turned down free chicken teriyaki at the mall, right? The reason offers are rejected is because they don’t answer enough questions. Once you create a plan, you’ll find what angle works best for you then you can perfect it over time.
You’ll become more comfortable with your script by repeatingly approaching potential dates. Use the same lines and phrases until they begin to work. Most singles don’t do this because they’re waiting for the confidence to come naturally.
If it hasn’t reared its head in the sum odd years you’ve been alive, especially the times when you needed it, I doubt it will pop into you like the Holy Ghost just to get you a date.
Remember that old joke, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” Practice, man. Practice.
When approaching potential dates consider two things:
- You were invited to this moment, take advantage of it.
- They want to be approached first.
When you hit on the right person in the right way they appreciate not having to do all of the work. So how do you determine that it’s the right person and most importantly the right way?
FOCUS ON THE DATE NOT THE PERSON
The funny thing about strangers is that you don’t know them. This sounds obvious, almost weird but there is no need to worry about who you’re asking out on the date. What intimidates you is the story that you create about the person that you’re attracted to but you don’t know them. As cute as they look in their classic navy Peacoat, or perfectly crisp khakis (if you’re into that sort of thing) doesn’t make them the person of your dreams.
You don’t know for sure that they’re your type because they are a stranger. Doing the work to get the date, is far more important than who you ask on the date. You have no clue what they would enjoy doing and you can’t determine their interest in mere seconds.
Instead of focusing on the person, focus on getting the date because the date is what’s TRULY important.With no date you’ll never know if you dodged a bullet or found your soul mate. The right way is a way that puts your potential date at ease and not on guard. Perfect your body language so that you come across as safe and trustworthy.
USE POWERFUL BODY LANGUAGE
Don’t stand too close to them, don’t blink too fast, don’t trap them in a corner, and don’t run up to them leaving them startled and defensive.
These are basic body language tips that most professionals are taught when learning to network. Your body language and your energy will speak louder than any words you might say. Proper body language will put the other person at ease and allow them to trust you more easily. Asking someone out on a date is a fairly quick interaction that warrants a rapid assessment of the other person.
When you are trying to put someone at ease instantly, your body language has a lot to do with their reaction to you. Remember to be relaxed in your stance with open palms and a smile. When you’re ready to close (a typical sales term) ask their permission.
“I know I don’t know you but I’d love to call you sometime. Would that be ok?”
Phrases as such this allow the person to say yes or no. It also states the obvious, that you’re a stranger and there are risks involved. Also, you’re preparing them for what is exactly going to happen.
If you ask if you can take them out, there are too many possibilities for what that could mean. When you offer to call, you’re laying out a promise that isn’t too intimidating.
Compliments get a bad rap but they are far more persuasive than anyone gives them credit for. Compliments are not just benign and shallow statements laced with sexual innuendo. Quite the opposite. When given genuinely and creatively compliments are flattering and meaningful. A great compliment is a recognition of an admiral skill, trait, or quality.
When you approach good-looking dates, you want to do the following:
- Give them compliments that mean something
- Put them at ease, let them know that you’re safe
- Close the deal, you can’t forget to get the date.
I’ll give you one more secret tip… before you ask anyone for their number, ask a ‘Yes’ or no question that they will preferable say yes to. A simple example is a question like: “Don’t you love this weather?” Keep it playful and conversational. What this does is it gives you a running start to getting another yes. One is all you need to increase your chances of getting the date.
Again, the best way to build a record of success is to take action often.