What can learning about networking do to improve your dating skills? More than you think.
When we think about networking we think about meeting people for business. We think about making connections that could support our endeavors while possibly helping others pursue theirs.
We proceed with the idea that people buy from friends and do business with those they like. Often practicing the concept: it’s not what you know but who you know. (And likes you)
We have clear ideas of who we think can help us in business, maybe the CEO of prominent company, or the president of a particular organization. We discern the social currency of their friendships and we go above and beyond to ingratiate ourselves with these people because at the end of the day, we want or need their help.
Everyone does it.
We put our best selves forward and paint ourselves in the best possible light because we know that, in business, this person liking us is essential. If you’re great at networking you know the ins and outs include: firm handshakes, mirroring and strong body language.
If you aren’t good networking you’re likely not strong when it comes to flirting or dating as whole.
Being likable is the one skill that is hard to teach.
Almost impossible because it starts from an underlying sense of confidence that most people have to gain on their own. Still it’s important to know the elements of being likable and why you can’t just bullshit your way through networking any more than you can through dating.
Understand your agenda.
When you enter the room of any networking event, every attendee has an agenda. It’s unlikely someone was just dragged along and is contently sitting in the corner alone. Networking events are for that very purpose, so think of the bar, club, lounge etc. as an impromptu or unorganized networking event.
What is your purpose when you talk to strangers?
It’s easy to say that you want a date but let’s face it online dating is for people who simply want dates. My suggestion is you should want more than a date. You should want to make a connection, start a friendship. In fact I suggest that you tell the people you meet that you’re not dating.
Bring your A-game.
Have you ever entered a networking event without a stack of business cards, ready to drop the 411 on what makes you or your business so great to anyone of note that will listen? If you’re an okay networker you should have some idea how to pitch. If you can’t pitch you can’t sell and if you can’t sell, all the networking in the world isn’t going to generate a business contact.
In dating the selling isn’t so much selling as it is telling. What can you tell this potential date about you that will set you apart from anyone else? What will capture their attention? What information can you share to peak their interest without seeming too revealing?
Only you know what makes you sound special but whatever it is you should be ready to recite it at the drop of the hat.
Some people are able to share their accomplishments in business as to impress the VIP’s in their industry but when it comes to a potential date they keep silent. They don’t want to brag or showboat. They are humble in the presence of someone who impresses them.
The [dating] truth is you’ve come across this person for a reason. You may never see them again and why waste the opportunity because of preconceived notions and fears.
You may be nervous and shy but you find them interesting don’t you? You are attracted or intrigued by potential dates aren’t you? What is the harm of just letting them know that?
“I saw you across the room, I have to say, you seem like a really interesting person, where are you from?”
It may sound ridiculous but if a good-looking person said that to you, you’d be flattered. Don’t think of it as flirting or “hitting on” someone, think of it as social networking or romantic networking.
If networking is really an art put in the simplest of terms, it’s making a friend. Why can’t you apply those same principles to dating?