You need more dates, more people to like you and better luck approaching potential dates than you’re having now. Am I right? The [Dating] Truth is, if someone decides that they don’t want to date you before they get to know you, that’s a problem.
The idea of dating is to get to know another person, to decide if a relationship or even a friendship is possible. If you find yourself out of the race before you even start running, you have failed at the basics of what dating is.
When I hear stories of women who are still giving their number away and not getting called or men pursuing women who have absolute no interest in a date, not even a free meal, I know that there is work to be done.
Some people feel dating should be much more natural, Kismet almost.
You should walk down the street, have a chance encounter with a stranger and bam, in love you fall~ careful not to scratch your knees. That’s a nice fairytale but that’s not life. The reason love takes much more work today than ever before is because the message of what you should be looking for has been skewed.
In past generations more singles were on the same page. Happiness was a crapshoot and all you wanted was the American Dream and bourbon. Nowadays love, dating, sex and marriage are a lot more complicated. So if you want to have success you have to put in far more effort than you might have been prepared for.
The good news is that all the hard work, that I suggest at least, should make you a better you.
Being the best you possible is the real secret for dating success. The reason, I believe we have to be better people today than ever before is because they’re so many options in life.
Think of how many people aren’t happy with their Ipad, they want the Ipad 2.
People assume that somewhere there is a better version of everything even people, if you aren’t your best self, your potential date will go looking for you 2.0.
So what makes you actually win with the people who you’re dating? What makes them more into you than any person that they’ve already met?
Dating is about you, not someone else.
I know it seems like you can’t control what another person thinks of you but you have more control over it than you think. There are elements of all human psyches that are looking to be sold something that will make them feel good. People are looking to feel good and dating you should be the answer. The only way to convince someone that dating you will feel good or be fun is to hit the ground running. Don’t let a moment go pass without sending the message that you will be interesting, funny, kind and stimulating.
So how can you do this? It must be hard or everyone would do it right?
It can only be done if you focus your intention on one thing and that’s success. Confidence is key but it’s hard to build. If I were to tell anyone just be confident I don’t think this blog would be successful at all. Confidence is a nice concept but it is difficult to master.
Not caring isn’t the solution but caring too much is detrimental.
You have to put it perspective. Confidence can only come if you know that what you’re doing will be successful. So of course you have to decide what your barometer for success entails. What do you want to happen?
You see someone attractive, you want to talk to them, and you want to have their contact information or give them yours so you can get to know them better.
Stop there…
If you pay any attention to what you don’t want to happen you’ll fail. The minute you start fantasizing about weddings and boyfriend material, getting a woman into bed or making out with her, you will fail. But you want these things to happen right? Take it one step at time.
You can lose the flow of the interaction worrying about anything outside of the present moment. Listen to them closely for IOIs (indicators of interest) and allow body language to help you flirt more effectively. Notice if they’re talking in present or future tense. Beware of departing statements:
“I’m leaving soon,”
“I need to find my friends”
“It was nice to meet you”
Don’t worry about if you get nervous, that doesn’t mean you aren’t confident. It only means that you’re human. Just don’t allow your emotions to dictate the interaction.
Oh yeah and stay positive, happy dating…