You can never love fully with a wall up.
We think that being guarded can shield our feelings from hurt or our hearts from heartbreak and in some ways it can feel like we are protected but in actuality we are deprived.
Like a thriving house plant you’re sheltered from rain, and wind and frost but you never truly feel the sun.
Do you want a love that is superficial? A love that can’t go any deeper than your guard? If you’ve been afraid to open up to new people, experiences, relationships and even love consider this: once you heal, you can never be hurt again.
People who are guarded misguidedly believe that guards protect them the way a shield does but guards in love are actually casts that protect wounds from getting worse.
A guard is a band-aid. While it covers a wound it doesn’t hide it and it certainly can’t protect it from further damage.
When you break a bone, it’s put in a cast to heal. When we are hurt in love we place our pain in a cast and call it a guard. By having a guard up many people think they’re protecting a healthy heart from breaking.
In actuality most people are trying to prevent a broken heart from breaking further.
If you don’t heal the wounds you have, you will remain in a cast. You will constantly fear further damage to a fragile state.
Having your guard up and having a wall up is our way of coping with pain. When we are guarded we have experienced a pain that hasn’t healed. It’s the way we gingerly walk on a sprain before it’s quite healed. It’s the way we eat slowly when we return from the dentist still numb.
We only tread lightly when we are not 100%. A child who is sick lies in bed but as soon as they’re well they sprint back into action like no injury or illness ever happened.
Basketball players that wear face guards don’t do so to protect totally healthy bones. If so, every player would wear one. Face guards are to prevent further damage.
You are not guarded because you’re afraid of getting hurt.
You are guarded because you’ve been hurt but you haven’t healed. Think about what you’re afraid of. What hurt are you still holding on to and do you think you could let it go?
What would it take and when could you move on?
I hope you choose to do it soon. Your love life is waiting. I hope this was helpful.