Dating online can be a gamble. The obvious reality is that you will meet all sorts of individuals on any free dating website. You can generally spot positive, or negative, personalities straight away then either persevere, or move on accordingly. But what about someone who, superficially, appears too good to be true?
Those charismatic individuals that draw us in, and take our breath away tend to be narcissists. One of the fundamental traits any narcissist possesses, will be an unerring ability to charm. You may well be drawn to their charisma, but what are the red flags and blind spots which will ultimately reveal their true colors?
Here are some of the attributes they won’t be able to hide behind a convenient mask.
You’ll be putty in their hands
On the surface, narcissists appear to be wonderful people, full of flattery for those they come in contact with. They’ll communicate well and seem to devote as much time to listening to what you have to say as waxing lyrical about their own achievements. But this is a blind spot. Along with any hint of self-deprecation, the superficial charm is a smokescreen. The narcissist is adept at presenting a perfect version of themselves, but only to further their own ends.
They seem to be perfect in every way
One of their most dangerous attributes is how successful they appear to be. At everything. They’ll be at the peak of their game when it comes to their profession. This will reflect on how well they’re remunerated, which will drip-down to their wonderful property, their sporty car, their choice of holiday location, their wardrobe.
Where any normal person would tend to exhibit a modicum of modesty where business success would be concerned, this is another narcissistic blind spot. They’ll feel no qualms about bragging. This is particularly lethal when it comes to taking advantage of sexual partners who are notably less fortunate. They will prey on anyone whose self-esteem seems less than solid.
It runs in the family
An unfortunate red flag with narcissists is the genetic effect. If this person has come from a family where narcissism has been the default position, it is only natural they will have inherited these traits. If you find that they are contentious, or resentful of their family members, this is a red flag.
If you meet their siblings, or parents, you may notice similar traits that have been passed on the family.
For the narcissist, one of the biggest red flags of all is their acute self-awareness. They will focus on their own wellbeing to a completely unnatural degree. One of the least likable aspects of their personality is an inability to empathize, which is particularly crushing in a relationship. Where loving couples can usually lean on one another, approaching their partner during times of crisis to expect help, a narcissist is only ever likely to offer a shoulder to cry on if there is something in it for them.
Everything is about weighing situations up to assess where the advantage is.
Can you ever enjoy a fulfilling two-way conversation with this person? Or, no matter the topic, does it always end up being manipulated so that they resume their position, center-stage? Many narcissists are adept at conveying the impression they are good listeners, when in fact the sympathetic ear they appear to be offering is yet another blind spot.
When a narcissist chooses to get intimate, there will be little to betray what’s really going on beneath the surface. They’ll act as if you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them, and the sex is the most wonderful they’ve experienced. The trouble with all this hyperbole is, like everything else in their universe, they’re only really interested in how it makes them feel. Sure, you’ll feel just as good as they do in the short-term, but the longer-term picture is drastically different. You won’t really be featuring on their radar that much at all.