Relationships are goals for many single people.
When you find a man that you want to create a deeper connection with it can be exciting but women can also sabotage what they say that they want. When you meet someone and you begin to get closer to a relationship, it’s important to be aware of behaviors that could possible push him away. Avoiding these behaviors can save you heartache in the log run.
#1 Playing Games
Playing games comes in many forms. Ultimately, this is when you aren’t being honest in the relationship and coming across as really being true to your authentic self. This shows up in multiple forms. Maybe you believe that he wants a certain type of woman and you feel that you have to pretend to be different than who you really are to win him over.
Playing games isn’t always malicious. Oftentimes the advice given to women is to hold their cards tight to their chest meaning be a little more calculated in your behavior to win a man over. While it can be beneficial to act counter intuitively if you have chased men away in the past, it is never a good idea to be someone you’re not. Playing games can work to get the reaction and response that you want from a guy but it won’t create the deep bond and connection that you need to actually strengthen your relationship with him.
#2 Acting Disinterested
Playing aloof, or disinterested, is where you don’t actually show that you’re interested in the guy that you’re dating. You don’t give him compliments, you don’t tell him you’re attracted to him, you don’t get excited when he calls, or you pretend to be busy when he tries to make plans. Why would someone do this to someone they are interested in? Often women will put on this facade of playing hard to get, like they are not that interested to challenge the man they are dating.
You want to make him work for it right? Well the challenge is that men don’t invest in relationships where they don’t feel like it’s got a shot, or a chance. One of the ways men know if this might actually go somewhere, is if you’re giving them attention and showing them interest. If you are interested and excited about him great, but you don’t want that pendulum to swing to the extreme. But actually showing interest, actually letting him know that you’re attracted to him, and letting him know you’re available translates to attraction and that will actually draw him in.
#3 Becoming Too Interested in Him
Have you ever had a moment with a guy that you’re dating and thought, “Oh my gosh, you are perfect?” The moment men think you believe they are perfect they will start to sabotage the relationship. They know that they are not perfect and deep down you know it too, but you become so into him that he can’t do anything wrong. Worst, he is all that you can think about. Not only are you too into the guy that you are dating, you are less into the rest of your life. This is a huge turn off for men. No matter how much you accept a man with shortcomings, he knows he’s not perfect.
He knows he’s got a bunch of flaws, and if you believe, or are telling your guy that he is perfect, what men take from that is you’re putting him on a pedestal, and you’ve got a false view of him. His fear now becomes the moment you actually get to know him, the moment you know that he’s really flawed, and he’s got a bunch of things that aren’t perfect, you’re not going to want him anymore. You might actually accept his flaws but still feel in awe of him and the best way to translate that is energetically. What is way more powerful is to actually have the vibration of love and acceptance, and show him that you’re into him but that you’re willing to love him for his imperfections. Be clear that you’re willing to accept him for who he is and you’re not putting him on this false pedestal. To men, being loved and accepted for who they are is actually one of the strongest draws and the strongest forms of connection men can have.
#4 Being too Demanding
You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be courted. There is a difference between setting your expectations and standards and being demanding. Sometimes women who feel insecure ask too much of men. They want to be reassured often that he is into them.
This is an attitude of entitlement and nobody likes people who feel entitled. Men know that one of their roles in a relationship is to provide. It’s been that way for thousands of years an whether or not you can provide equally as he can provide, the man is hardwired to want to take the lead. Men who’ve done a successful job of earning money for themselves, and to become financially successful often think it’s very easy for women to take advantage of them. Most men have felt taken advantage at some point in their lives, and some are extremely sensitive to demands.
You should establish a standard of how you want to be treated. You should also express how you need to be loved so that anything he does reinforces his interest in you. But acting entitled or being demanding will make men resent you more than you realize. It is far better to attract someone with honey than vinegar. Draw him in with gratitude, no matter what level of success he is in his life. Often the most successful people in the world, are often the ones who are humble who are often the ones who are first to say ‘thank you’ and live from this state of gratitude.
#5 Telling Him How to Do Things
Without even realizing it women can emasculate men. This is a form of micro-aggression and it can happen to anyone in any setting. Women tend to make suggests or recommendations that although are correct they convey a lack of trust in their man’s capabilities. Emasculating a man isn’t about doing something better than he does, or taking his power away. Telling him how to do things comes in the form of making small suggestions that interfere with his attempt to be a leader. It’s worst than telling him what to do. It limits the trust you have in him, and it micromanages his abilities.
This behavior demonstrates that you don’t believe he has what it takes to accomplish the job. Simply put, you don’t believe that he can actually get the job done and often shows up as innocent suggestions. It be you trying to help, or step in because you actually know how to do the thing better and you can show him how to do it more efficiently and with a better outcome. The challenge is men have this deep wired need to provide, and for the ability to figure things out. Ask yourself: is it worth getting the job done faster, is that benefit worth the disconnect that you create with emasculating behavior?
When you make suggestions of try to take the lead, what that communicates even in the underlying way is it that you actually don’t believe that he can do what you have asked. A better approach is to consider, if he’s not going to hurt himself, and he’s not going to hurt anyone else – let him figure it out. Let him proceed his way, even if it takes longer or is slightly inconvenient. If you really do want to make a suggestion, ask him first. Find out if he needs help, or information. If not, just let him lead and trust him in the process.
#6 Moving too Fast
When a man tries to make a sexual move on you, before you have a connection it’s a turn off. When a woman tries to make a move on a man before he is ready, it equally chases him away. Meeting someone you like is fantastic but wanting them to be your boyfriend sooner than they are ready is a quick way to chase him away. When you’re dating someone, it is really easy to fall into the pattern of just trying to get him to like you before you even know if you actually like him or not.
This pattern happens a lot and he can feel that you’re just trying to get him to like you because you want to rush a commitment. Coming across as someone who wants this instant relationship is actually repelling to men because men want to feel chosen. Men want to feel selected above all the other options that you have. They want to know that out of all the other amazing men that you could choose, out of all of them, you’re choosing him.
Ultimately, for every human being desire is a very, very powerful feeling. To feel chosen is when he says, ‘I want you out of all these other people’. It’s the reassurance that you matter, and that your important, you’re beautiful, you’re amazing. When the connection is leading the commitment these two factors are joined by an energetic cord.
When you’re deepening the connection it actually pulls the commitment forward. However when the commitment gets out in front of the connection, that’s when that cord breaks and the commit and the connection actually drop. If you give a man the impression that you want a commitment before you’ve made a connection with him, he’ll assume that you are looking for a spot to fill and that you aren’t interested in who he is.