Are you ready for love this year?
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine a small patch of fertile soil.
In that soil there is a seed. Imagine yourself watering the seed. Imagine the bright, and beautiful sun shining on the seed. Imagine clearing the weeds from the soil and starting to see sprouts. First you see little leaves, then a bud, and finally a beautiful flower.
This is what it means to make create love in your life. You are that seed.
In order for you to grow, you need care. This isn’t just a part of a trendy culture of self-care practices. Real care is about nurturing your own needs. If you were left unattended your life might be filled with weeds or debris. The clutter of a love life unkept is the reality for many. When you are carefully tended to, the flower that is your life can bloom. Close your eyes again and take a deep breath. Breathe out. Do you notice the actions taking place?
Your eyes closing, your lungs inhaling then exhaling, and your body embracing your decision to fall in love. Emotions are the language of the body, and in order to operate under the deep emotions of any transformation, you have to embrace what happens within. Transformation first happens by first making the decision to do it.
Whether you took a moment to acknowledge your breath and give awareness to your body you unconsciously performed the action. You inhale and exhale all day long, but do you give intention to the process? In order to take any step towards progress you must set the intention. You must choose what to do. Making time for love is a choice that is required in order to have the love that you want. Love is a verb. It requires action. Every decisive action you take to embrace love in your life, to call it in, is a form of self-love.
Just as you would exercise your muscles, your heart and mind also need exercising.
By making time for love and employing decisive action you are showing yourself that you deserve love. If you’re not interested in words like Universe, energy, alignment, and or vibration then this might not be the right guide for you. The lack of love that you have in your life is a direct result of the amount of love that you give to yourself and others. Life is a mirror. Whatever you’re willing to take provide for yourself the world will also provide to you.
Adopt the attitude that it’s ok to try to love yourself more.
Self-love isn’t easy and most people fail to cultivate it when it wanes over time. Self-love is not self-absorption or simply pleasure seeking. Self-love is the act of doing what is good for you so that you remember what love feels like. Self-love might be hard at first. At times we feel ashamed that we don’t praise, and admire ourselves like we should.
Self-love practices and the actions that go along with them are a reward not a punishment. Reframe the way you reward yourself. Self-love is all about giving yourself what you feel deserve. The problem is that we don’t feel that we deserve what we want. Care about yourself as you would expect any stranger to. You would be surprised how many people currently associate self-love with pain or punishment.
Is it no surprise then that we look at love as pain. Is it even less surprising that we don’t make time for it?
Why would you make time for pain? The only way to separate our association with self-love and pain is to retrain our brain with actions. Think about this closely. If we associate love with pain why would we want it? It all comes back to the story you’re telling yourself about what love is, and what it means to be in a relationship. For some a relationship means you’re special, worthy and important. For others a relationship is an escape from their own lives.
Think about what a relationship would mean to you? If it doesn’t have a positive connotation there is no surprise that you don’t have one.
The world is full of people who want to be loved but unfortunately don’t reserve any love for themselves. If you don’t practice self-love, letting love you will be challenging. Do you realize how unrecognizable love would be to you?
Does this sound like you?
Do you realize that now you mistake simple gestures and nominal attention as signs of love because you rarely give any to yourself?
Do you know what it means to see love as a verb?
Is it hard for you to make time for love because you look at it as work?
Do you consider inviting love into your life but you’re frustrated by the effort you must put in?
Often times this fear of accepting love is really a fear of being rejected. If you give yourself freely to someone else and it isn’t accepted that can feel so terrible. It can make any one you’re dating feel like work because that level of doubt is work to overcome.
Practice Letting Love In
I want to let you in on a secret. Most people never experience real and fulfilling love because they are too afraid of opening their heart. Most couples, especially the ones who are raising the divorce rate, are incredibly unhappy in their relationships. If you think that modern dating as work, it’s because the way you’ve been doing it has been work.
Most importantly, develop a habit of praising yourself.
Tell yourself positive statements throughout the day such as, “Good job”, or “That’s wonderful,” or “You’re so smart”.
Remind yourself of these statements:
I know what I deserve and never deny myself good things.
I never stop giving love to others but I always start with myself.
When you make time for loving yourself you’re training your brain to associate positive thoughts with pleasure. Love is pleasure and you have more than enough time in your day for that. Remind yourself that you deserve it. When you use positive reinforcement, you’re training your brain to enjoy healthy activities and rewards.
If you’ve been wanting to exercise more, read more, practice meditation, try yoga, or recite affirmations daily, then do it.
Don’t let yourself down if it’s important to you. If you don’t work hard for yourself it’s no wonder you won’t work for love. If you question you’re ability to achieve any goal like losing weight, getting a new job or making new friends just remind yourself, “I deserve it.”
The first step to getting love loving yourself enough to let love in.