Dating remains one of the most complex inventions in human history. While the concept is widely known among adults, few have been formally taught its mechanics. Despite the repeated regurgitation of advice, modern society often gravitates towards the latest trends, without fail.
The latest trend scapegoats women for their single status through the concept of ‘de-centering’ men. This notion suggests that women should prioritize every aspect of their lives except dating, even if they desire a partner.
This is where a fundamental misunderstanding occurs. It’s not women who centered men; society did.
The Narrative of “Women Need To”
Traditional dating advice often takes the form of chastisement, implying that women’s actions greatly influence men’s behavior. However, this narrative overlooks the reality that women don’t have the profound impact on men that it suggests. While women can influence societal norms, historically, men have enforced them. Rather than focusing on what women “need to” do to attract a partner, there’s more value in examining behaviors and beliefs that can be adjusted for improved romantic outcomes.
The Pursuit of Partnership
For decades, women have been coached on how to persuade men into marriage, despite the fact that marriage historically benefited men. However, marriage has been portrayed as something men should avoid, even though studies show its benefits for them. Historical practices like polygamy and child marriage illustrate how marriage has often been advantageous for men at the expense of women’s rights and freedoms.
Despite societal perceptions, women aren’t pursuing marriage as an accomplishment but seek partnership, which fosters healthy relationships and companionship, regardless of gender.
Women Don’t Need To Decenter Men
Women have long been told that their actions exist solely for the pleasure of men, whether it’s their choice of attire or interests. However, the desire for partnership transcends catering to male preferences; it’s about fulfilling personal needs and desires. While sexuality may influence partner choices, dating and partnership aren’t contingent on catering to men’s desires.
The Answer
Understanding the dynamics of mutual interest is crucial in dating. If a man is genuinely interested, it will be evident, and if not, ambiguity reigns. Women don’t need to prioritize men over their own well-being or over analyze their actions. Pursuing a man who isn’t reciprocating interest is a choice best avoided.
Finding the right partner involves a blend of luck and timing. Improving one’s chances involves self-qualification and placing oneself in conducive environments. Pursuing partnership should enhance life, not define it.
The key takeaway is to prioritize one’s own happiness and not invest time where it’s not reciprocated.