No matter how many experts exist or how many Youtube videos are created most men STILL don’t understand what sexually arouses women. In some instances, men assume that if they are feeling a sexual attraction then it must be mutual. This is wrong. Men also assume that if a woman has dressed sexy on a date, is smiling and seemingly flirtatious then she is sexually attracted to him. This is also wrong.
A woman can go as far as have sex with you and still not find you sexually attractive.
Confused?
Well as a man you should be. You should be aware that all of these truths exist not as deceptions but as the way women have learned to defend themselves against men.
Sure you’re safe. You would never hurt a woman but YOU are not the only man this woman has ever been on a date on or encountered in her life. The average woman wants to dress in a way that makes her feel and look good. Unfortunately, this garners unwanted attention from men in which she has to fake a smile and act cordial just to be safe.
If a woman is catcalled for wearing one of her favourite outfits, of course she would love to yell, “f*ck you!’ to whoever is making her feel uncomfortable but that isn’t safe.
A woman could be wearing a burlap sack and some man would find a way to make her feel naked and uncomfortable with a comment or a seedy look. Because of this, women have learned that the best way to stay safe is to ‘go along’ to ‘get along’. Knowing this as a man is the first step to understanding women.
But you haven’t made it to the date, you’re still in the app just exchanging messages and you aren’t having any luck. Even on Bumble, where you match and the woman messages first, you find yourself being ignored after the initial ‘Hello’. So what is going on? Why aren’t women responding?
You Seem Weird
No one wants to date a guy that looks weird. This isn’t fair but it’s true. I’m not talking about someone who just isn’t the traditional Hollywood movie star, or athlete. I mean a guy who is on the fringe of what is professional, classic, or manly. Online dating is based on superficial judgments. Knowing that there are thousands of other men this woman will see profiles of, you have to design your profile to get a swipe right. On most dating apps users swipe with abandon. It isn’t until after the match do they go back and read the profile. Even dissect it. When you message a woman the first thing she will do is review your profile.
- What job do you have?
- Who are your friends?
- Do your photos have women, children, or animals in it?
- Does your life seem exciting or fun?
- Do your photos make you look safe or weird?
If a woman reviews your profile and it doesn’t seem like you know women or get women then she will not likely respond to your messages. You have to come across in your profile as someone who has catered to what a woman would like. Dating profiles are advertisements and they are meant to attract the woman that you want to date. If your profile seems like it isn’t curated for women, and you don’t seem to know that then women won’t be interested.
Are Your Photos Flattering or Weird?
How can you tell if your profile is ‘woman friendly’ or not? Well, there are a few common mistakes that men make that can be easily fixed. Creating a flattering profile is about choosing good photos. Find the photos where you look the best. Choose photos where you are doing activities that women enjoy or you and a woman might enjoy together.
For most women this isn’t hunting, fishing, or lifting weights but you have to know your audience. Choose the photos that will bring women into your inbox by asking yourself if you are speaking to women or just choosing something that you think is funny.
You want to find photos of yourself that are flattering and represent what women care about. If you don’t care about women then why even be on the app. Choose photos where you are both smiling and serious. A smile shows that you have joy in your life. Serious tends to connote strength. Avoid bathroom selfies, any photos that make you look awkward, or group photos where you aren’t the most attractive.
Why It Matters
It is almost impossible to understand all women but let’s face it, you’re on the dating app for a reason so you should understand at least a little bit about how women think. You are creating a profile not because the platform requires it but because you want to present yourself to women in an attractive way. Your photos are what women will use to determine if you are safe or dangerous. A woman will not reply to your messages if you don’t seem safe.
Your photos want to convey that you are a harmless guy who likes to have fun. A photo of you holding a rifle shirtless in the kitchen does not give off this impression. You want to set the tone in your profile NOT what kind of guy you are but what kind of woman you WANT. The woman that you are trying to attract will take two or three more glances at your profile and decide whether you are worth responding to or not.
If your profile isn’t designed to attract women and has too many photos where you appear to be dangerous or weird then women, even the ones that initially matched with you, will ignore you.