Finding the right person is 80% of the battle when it comes to successful dating.
Most people fail in dating because they are trying to build strong bonds and deep connections with the wrong people.
Not only do they fail to attract the wrong partners most singles attach themselves to the wrong people for too long.
But the question remains, how can you tell that you’re with the right person? How do you know that you’ve found the person that is worth your time and energy?
One of the most depressing situations I’ve found myself in when dating is thinking that I’ve wasted my time with someone who was wrong for me from the start.
If you want to make sure that you’re pursuing the right person here are 3 must have qualities that you make you feel safe in a relationships and make the relationship work.
Support
One of the reasons relationships fail is because one person is trying to make it work and they have no help, or support in the matter. A supportive partner is someone who shows up for you when you need them.
They don’t have to agree with your ideas or your philosophies but they have to believe in you and what you ultimately want to accomplish, both in life and the courtship.
A supportive partner is one who isn’t going to make you do it all alone. You won’t have to take the responsibility of making the relationship happen.
When you’re dating a supportive person you won’t need to initiate contact all of the time, you won’t need to plan all of the dates, and you won’t need to constantly remind them of their role in the partnership.
A supportive person wants you to succeed. They want the relationship to work. It’s easy to tell when you’re with someone who doesn’t support you because there is a sense of inconsistency. There is also a sense of not knowing where you stand and a feeling that you are not a priority.
When a partner is supportive they don’t just physically show up for you but they also encourage your dreams and ambitions.
If you feel like you’re partner isn’t invested in your success or the success of the courtship and that your relationship doesn’t have their full support and investment then don’t date them.
Keep in mind that their level of investment might differ from yours depending on how long you’ve been dating. You can tell if you have your partner’s support by their willingness to progress the relationship at your request.
Attraction
In order to sustain a relationship there must be a mutual attraction between you and your partner. You have to constantly ask yourself:
- Am I compelled to be around this person?
- Am I drawn to this person when they aren’t around?
- Is there a shift in my energy and physiology when I’m in their presence?
These are signs that you’re attracted to your partner but you also want them to be attracted to you. Attraction doesn’t solely mean looks or sexual desire. Being attracted to the person you’re dating can also depend on vibrational energy.
Are you on the same page?
Do they make you feel safe and can you trust them? What we don’t always recognize about attraction is that it’s the stirring of emotions inside of us. Being attracted to someone could happen because they make you feel beautiful, smart, accomplished, strong, or powerful. An attractive person is someone who makes you feel something unique when you’re around them.
Attraction is created when we feel better about ourselves or we feel more like ourselves when we’re someone else.
True attraction is when someone makes you feel like the person you believe yourself to be, whether that’s good or bad. If you find that your partner has endless qualities but you aren’t attracted to them it’s likely that you don’t feel like the highest possible version of yourself.
If that’s the case as great as they are, they aren’t for you.
Respect
The best definition, that I’ve ever heard to explain what respect means in a relationship is never telling someone what to do or how to do it. It’s easy to take on the role of someone’s boss, or parent in a relationship.
It’s easy to judge the person we’re dating and then decide that we know better how things should be done.
The idea of having mutual respect in a relationship means that you don’t tell the other person what to do or how to do it. You trust their judgment and their intelligence.
When we don’t trust that someone will do the right thing we feel the need to control their actions. We take the reigns on their decisions so that we’re never in jeopardy of getting hurt or being disappointed. Respect means allowing the person you’re dating to be themselves and them doing the same for you.
A person who tells you what to do, or makes you feel like how you do what you do is wrong, is disrespectful.
This is someone that doesn’t trust you to make the right decisions. If you find that the person you’re dating is constantly making demands on you or directing your steps then they do not respect you.
There are numerous reasons to overlook these qualities for the sake of having a relationship whether or not it’s a sustainable one. You can start a relationship without these elements but that type of courtship will never make you happy.
If your dates don’t support you, attract you and respect you and you them, then you are dating the wrong person. I hope this was helpful.