Home Dating Why Being Counterintuitive Overcomes Shyness

Why Being Counterintuitive Overcomes Shyness

If you’re a single adult living in the 21st century, you can not afford to be shy. Like a warm wool blanket single men and women drape their anti-social behavior in the cloak of shyness and all other singles are asked to adjust. We are all a little self-conscious when it comes to meeting new people but if you’re single you can ill afford to miss any opportunities for a date.

That means pushing past any limitations that might have hindered your dating life. Counterintuitive behavior, if shyness has plagued you, might be the solution for getting more dates. If you don’t know where to start let me tell you step by step.

Step 1. Notice everything

Single men and women have a bad habit of walking through life with visors. They decide to only notice potential partners when they are in a club or a social setting in the evening. Single men are especially guilty of tunnel vision and fail to notice possible dates as they go about their everyday activities.

It’s important that you use your senses, imitate your favorite spy or detective and scan every inch of your environment, wherever you go. In order to notice who is on your bus or train, or notice who is on the treadmill next to you, single men and women must deny their urge to hide. In order to notice who is buying coffee in front of you it requires that you allow yourself to be noticed in return.

Look around when you enter a room, notice everyone around you, all of the time.

Step 2. Never look down

It may feel unnatural at first but as you walk through life remember to keep your head up. Whether you’re single or not, you should never look down when passing another person. It’s a sign that you are intimidated. Your meek body language will not attract other singles to you.

You can look away if you must but you should absolutely fight the urge to look to the ground. As a single person you want to attract possible dates with confidence and self-assurance. Unless you’re looking for a rogue fifty dollar bill or collecting change for aggressive pan handlers you need to keep your head to the sky.

Step 3. Encourage eye contact

I believe every day is an opportunity to meet a potential date. What holds single men and women back isn’t being in the wrong places, it isn’t being less than attractive and it isn’t even embarrassing the hell out of themselves when they have an interaction. It’s lacking the confidence it takes to maintain eye contact. Singles possess more appeal than they think but you have to invite flirtations.

When you are single you want to feel engaged not rejected, but when eye contact is cut short, the message is sent of “not interested” or “unavailable”. I understand that shyness and fear may have stopped you in the past but if you commit to change, you’ll see results.

Of course it’s important to look good and be interesting but before one word is spoken with a potential partner, singles can take control how they are received. Instead of hiding yourself and living in a bubble, think outside of the box of your shyness. Open yourself up and invite others in.

Is your shyness holding you back from meeting new people? Comment below.

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