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What To Do When The Man Stops Trying

My very good friend has been dealing with a man who will readily admit to everyone that he wants to be with her but can’t stop acting the damn fool. I remember a time in dating when it was a shock to find out a man was an asshole. You were surprised. Nowadays it seems many men have decided, for the sake of not wanting to play games, to be assholes right from the jump. This is the true story of what happens when men stop being polite and start being real.

The old joke of “you don’t date people you date their representatives” no longer applies. Men are more than willing to show their true colors, as ugly and mismatched as they might be and dare a woman to deal with it. Or hope that she’s colorblind.

So what should women do? We all know that no one is perfect. When a man shows an unfavorable side of his personality you can tell yourself well, at least he’s keeping it real but how much do you like the real him? It’s like buying a used car with a warranty and buying one without. The car without will likely have a list of shit that’s wrong with it. If something breaks or it breaks down it’s on you to deal with the expense but you at least know what to look for.

A car with a warranty might only display a quarter of what is truly wrong with it. The problems that might arise are unforeseen but for the unknowns, you’ll at least have some assistance. Men used to date this way. They used to try their best to warn you without scaring you away. They used to try their best to walk on eggshells early in hopes that you wouldn’t be able to piece together that they’re a mess.

Men tried in the past to get women somewhat invested before they started dropping bombs.

Recently Paul Carrick Brunson asked his Twitter and Facebook audience, “When should you tell someone that you’re abstinent?” It might seem like a no brainer but my ex-boyfriend waited until the moment we were having our DTR (define the relationship) conversation talk to spring it on me. You have to respect the game.

I would have been ghost had he asked me any sooner to consent to a nonsexual relationship. He waited at the moment when I was emotionally invested to be “honest”. For that I have to respect him. He wanted to be with me and played the game to get me to be with him. This is how it should be done.  I remember when men used to do this. Just when you were wined and dined and sold the dream a man would drop his, by the way.

That was at least a month of happiness that you could count on. Those days are slowly fading away. When in dating did lust and desire start taking a backseat to honesty? Men have resigned to being difficult themselves early and praising any woman willing to make it through the battlefield. They’re ready to toss you a bulletproof vest and a helmet before they’ll buy you flowers. More men are admitting their flaws, showing their ass and being uncharacteristically honest as an attempt to find the right woman with genuine intentions.

In hopes of weeding out the women who are truly down for them men have cut the song and dance. The only decision a woman can make is deciding if the devil you know is better or worse than the devil you don’t. Or if dating is the devil, period.

 

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