Home Boundaries ‘I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You’ & Other Bullsh*t Excuses In Dating

‘I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You’ & Other Bullsh*t Excuses In Dating

Has anyone ever told you, “It’s not you it’s me?” Or what about, “I like you but just as a friend.” And the ultimate, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”

If you’ve heard these paramount rejection lines before you might be unwilling to accept that they’re all bullsh*t, or maybe you already know. The (dating) truth is, dumping someone is really hard. No one wants to be the bad guy. In fact most of us spend our time trying to be likeable.

I envy anyone who has the nerve to have those tough conversations and more so anyone with the guts to break another’s heart. It’s inevitable, once someone realizes that they are in the wrong situation, but never easy.

I feel bad for both who says it and to those who have to hear it but what can be done?

You have to live in the moment. Not what once was, not what will be but what is happening now.

There are two things I notice happen with singles when they’re dating:

  • They don’t claim what they want
  • They don’t accept reality.

It took one phrase in the famed best seller for light bulbs to go off in women’s heads, “he’s not that into you if he’s not calling you.”

It’s been a long time since I’ve faced real, confrontational rejection because I just haven’t gotten that close to a man. The last time it happened I was pretty sure it was coming so I had been mentally prepared to how I would feel when I did hear the word “friends”.

The truth is you have to mentally prepare yourself for a breakup. And especially a never will be. I know there are times when you just don’t see the diss coming, but you should always have the ‘incase of an emergency’ conversation with yourself.

Just as if a loved one were old or terminally ill, you have to prepare yourself for the pain you’re going to feel by examining what you would lose.

Some of ya’ll are just tripping. You have someone treating you like a redheaded step-cousin twice removed and you’re still feeling sad over the fact that they rejected you. When you think about what you would be losing, that’s when you determine how upset you should actually be. Once you put it all in perspective you might realize that most of it was in your head.

I want you to feel empowered in your dating life, you should not be facing rejection from anyone.

You should be:

  • Choosing the right person
  • Keeping realistic expectations
  • Adding value to their lives

When you maintain these concepts, being rejected is almost impossible. Don’t rely on others to decide where you love life is going. Take control. How you date is up to you.

%d bloggers like this: