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How Common Are Sexual Fantasies In A Relationship?

How Common Are Sexual Fantasies In A Relationship?

Sex is perhaps one of the most beautiful experiences one can go through in life. It unites two individuals physically, emotionally and binds them together. There is something about such a level of intimacy that just frees up people. Sex as we know, is the process through which we reproduce, but it is not limited to such a clinical definition.

It is perhaps the ultimate form of expression where two people can display their affection to one another in the most powerful way. However, you can’t have the same type of sex every day, and expect it to be great every time. No matter how much you may love having sex; repetition leads to monotony.

So how can you spice things up and make it interesting for both you and your partner? The answer to that are sexual fantasies. They can help you to experience sex like never before and make every moment feel glorious. Some people like to role-play as different characters while others engage in BDSM or even threesomes. Every individual has his/her own fantasies and by discussing it with your partner you can have the best time of your life every other day.

Here are some of the most common sexual fantasies people have.

1) Threesomes

One of the most common sexual fantasies people have is threesomes. A threesome is when a person willingly engages in sex with multiple partners. You could have one with one man and two women, two women and one man or even three men. A lot of people out there have fantasies about their significant partner being in bed with not only him/her, but others too, at the same time. Such desires are usually born from the need to just overload the self sexually by interacting with multiple people while having sex. A lot of couples prefer their third partner to be strangers, to preserve anonymity. Hook up apps like lucky are usually filled with couples looking for potential threesome partners.

2) Rough Sex

Another extremely popular sexual fantasy is having rough sex. This might sound surprising, but more females are attracted to having rough sex in one form or the other than men. However, there is a lot of responsibility that goes into it. It isn’t just about hurting the other person and calling them your slave. For rough sex, you need one person to be dominant, while the other has to be submissive. The former dominates the latter as they have sex by spanking them, biting them lightly or pulling their hair. It isn’t about hurting people as some people believe, but an inherent need to either control or be controlled by your partner. When done responsibly, it could set your whole sex life on fire.

3) Swinging

Swinging is a sexual activity in which a person swaps their partner with another person. A lot of the people, who actually practice it, see it as a lifestyle rather than a single sexual experience. Most of them also swear that it has improved their relationships massively and brought both partners closer to each other. However, this isn’t something for everyone. It makes sense only when you are in a relationship that’s fairly open and you don’t mind seeing your loved one having sex with someone else.

Some men and women love seeing their significant other have sex with complete strangers. The taboo aspect of seeing your partner having sex with someone else can be quite enticing for some. After sex, the couple resumes their normal day to day lives until the next time they decide to find another stranger.


BDSM was always a popular sexual fantasy much before 50 shades of grey ever came out. However, not many people openly discussed about it. Today all that has changed and people are more open about their dark desires lurking inside. BDSM or bondage, discipline, submission and sadomasochism are perhaps the most animalistic sexual fantasies out there, fueled by the desire to completely dominate one’s partner. From latex costumes to whips and ball gags; BDSM is perfect for both dominant and submissive individuals.

5) Role Play

Role playing is when two individuals act as different characters to enhance their sexual experience. The characters they play are always those that they feel sexually attracted to like; teachers, delivery agents, neighbors etc. Almost everyone picks up a fantasy about someone when they grow up. Having your partner act as the character of your sexual fantasy can be an exhilarating experience, because you get to satisfy your innermost desires. The more realistic your acting is, the more fun you will have.

6) Gender Play

A lot of straight people actually have hidden desires to sleep with people of their own gender. We might think of sexual orientation as binary, but the reality is far more complicated. Not many may act on such fantasies due to societal pressure and such but the desires are always present. There is something about breaking the norm and exploring the unknown that just fascinates people especially in sex.

7) Giving Multiple Orgasms

Perhaps the most popular sexual fantasy of straight males, giving women multiple orgasms has been something that men have dreamt about for decades, or even centuries. Unlike men, women can have multiple orgasms one after the other and feel great each time. A man however has to struggle to get his orgasm consecutively. The need to satisfy a woman multiple times consecutively exists because most men are always insecure about their ability to satisfy their partners. This is perhaps one of the few sexual fantasies that are more psychological than physical.

8) Outdoor Exposure

Outdoor exposure is a fantasy that is more prevalent than you imagine. A lot of couples often fantasize about having sex with their partners in public places. They get aroused on groping and having sex in plain sight, but hidden at the same time. Not knowing if, or when, someone might catch you while you are in the act, gives an intense amount of pleasure. Some of the most popular places are theaters, parks, alleys, rooftops etc.

Sexual fantasies are not only normal, but actually quite common. Many couples have expressed that variety in their sex lives have improved their relationship, and contributed to their overall happiness as a couple.

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