If you’re scared of adding strategy to your love life, you should stop reading this post right now.
You don’t become good at dating by accident; I’ve put in years of practice and effort.
I don’t want to tell singles that it’s a tough place the dating scene because I’m sure you already know. What I will say is that I want you to do something about it. Maybe it’s unromantic in your eyes to have to put any work into meeting a good partner but that is the time we live in.
These days everyone can recognize that you just don’t wake up happy, it’s a choice that you must make everyday. You’re probably single because you’re choosing to be happy alone than miserable with the wrong person. I think that’s awesome! It doesn’t mean that you don’t want love in your life just as much as others; you’re just exercising your right to have a great love in your life. I applaud you for that. I want you to succeed. So what should you be doing?
First of all, you should have options. It’s possible that the next person you meet could be your soul mate but just to be on the safe side, options helps you to decide what’s truly important to you. When I dated a guy who was tall, gorgeous, smart, well dressed with an incredibly sexy accent I thought I had found my husband.
He was unsupportive.
It was only when we started dating did I realize how important it was for me to have a man who was interested in my success. Not only one who cared but played an actively supportive role in my achievement.
I’m going to be honest with you successful dating takes strategy. If you’re anything like me you have spent far too many nights wondering where to meet more people. Just a date, where can you meet one person to go on a date with, let’s start there? It all starts with one.
One date a week can easily turn to two or three but it isn’t just about going out to dinners and movies, you have to be ready to invite people into your life.
It’s not going to be successful dating if your life is full of timewasters and space fillers. You want your first date to remind you that dating isn’t as horrible as you thought, remind you that butterflies and chemistry still exist. To meet quality people you have to be ready and stay focused. You’re missing opportunities to meet potential dates because you have an idea in your mind of how you’re going to meet the people.
You don’t expect to meet anyone special on a day-to-day basis and because of this men and women miss golden opportunities.
Again, if the inability to say that you weren’t looking for love when you met your future spouse is too unromantic for you, The Dating Truth isn’t the spot for you.
The truth is, you’re always looking because opportunities are all around you and you want to be prepared. You never want to wish you would’ve said more, been dressed differently, or had another minute to get their number.
The preparation is thinking that you will always meet a potential date, and the surprise should be when you don’t not when you do.
So armed with the newfound attitude that you will meet your next date this week, I hope that you will commit to it by dressing well, having a positive attitude and being aware. Every time you leave your house you’re opening yourself to the possibility that you will meet a potential date.
Being aware and accepting this fact is enough energy to attract more people to you. So while there are potential dates all around you and you’ve been looking pretty cute, how do you actually start a conversation with these strangers?
- Ask a question
- Give a compliment
- Make an offer
It’s the 1,2 punch of opening a conversation. The secret to dating, that no one says often enough, is standing apart is your ace in the hole. Too many singles are forgettable. If you happen to be interested in someone attractive, confident and well dressed, they’re likely to think, “You want to date me, so does everybody else.”
Actually, they want to date you, they just don’t know it yet.
1. Ask a question
Wouldn’t it be great if your potential date just walked up to you and handed you their phone number. That never happens, not even to me. You have to get yourself in the proximity of your target and open the conversation with a relevant question. Or even a quirky one.
“Are you a baseball fan? Do you know who won the game last night?”
“Do you bank with (Chase) is there an ATM around here?”
“Do you drink coffee? Is there a Starbucks around?”
Two part questions are great because you have the opportunity to gain their full attention. They can’t just say yes or no then dart off. If they say, they don’t know it’s likely that they aren’t interested but wasn’t that a pain-free way to find out?
2. Give a compliment
They just feel good. If you make someone feel good, they will want to be around you, bottom line. Just remember to be genuine but compliments cost you nothing. It’s just a nice gesture.
You can ask for their number, offer your card, or invite them to an event that you’re already attending or make new plans.
Nothing is stopping you from approaching potential dates except confidence. What is the worst thing that can happen? Rejection. I do think about that. It’s easy to give advice but I wouldn’t recommend anyone doing anything I haven’t done myself.
At the end of the day, you’re doing most singles a favor. You’re taking the work out of the interaction. When I worked in financial sales, we were told in training that we weren’t selling products but offering opportunities.
In dating, it’s the same concept. You’re offering someone the opportunity to spend time with you, get to know you and it’s wonderful because you’re awesome.
You have to understand in dating that while we look at it as wanting something from someone else, or someone wanting something from us it is actually what you give that’s the most important.
So what do you need to make this work for you?
Confidence. It’s not going to be successful if you’re afraid to talk to strangers. What are you afraid of anyway? It’s all about perspective. You might hit on someone unsuccessfully but that will be old news once you are successful. The goal is simply to be happy and if you need to strikeout a few times before you meet a great person, so be it.
How many diets you go on that don’t work doesn’t matter once you get on one that does. There is one goal and the important part is to actively pursuit it. Stick to it.
“A loser doesn’t know what he’ll do if he loses, but talks about what he’ll do if he wins, and a winner doesn’t talk about what he’ll do if he wins, but knows what he’ll do if he loses.” Eric Berne