The dating landscape has changed. There are more ways to connect with people than ever before. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, many women find themselves in an interesting dilemma. To pursue or not pursue? That is the question. Ultimately, pursuing a man is the best way to get a man. This puts the ball in your court and ensures that you get what you want by asking for it, and going after it.
All women aren’t prepared to pursue a man full stop. And just because it has a high success rate doesn’t make it the solution for every woman. If you want a man to pursue you then there are certain steps you have to take to make that happen. Remember that not every man is the type to pursue but most are. Some just don’t get the chance and find that women will take over the role of pursuing before he gets a chance to.
Yes, some women are that aggressive. If you would rather have a man pursue you than the other way around there are a few ways to make that happen.
Let Your Interest Be Known
As little kids you probably played the Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light game. You and your friends stood in a row waiting for someone to yell green light so you could sprint to the finish line. Dating isn’t too different. In order for a man to pursue you, he must feel like he has the green light. This means making it clearly known that you are interested in him. How explicit should you be? That is up to you.
But you shouldn’t leave any grey area of interest. A man that knows that he is cleared to move forward will happily do so if he is interested. Of course men like the chase but they also want to know that the game is winnable. No one wants to enter a race with Usain Bolt. If you’re interested in a man, let it be known. It doesn’t mean you have to do any more than that.
Accept What He Offers
Men aren’t always creative. Sometimes instead of waiting for some over the top gesture of interest simply accepting what a man is trying to offer is enough. Give him an opportunity to give you something or do something nice for you. This permission is enough to start the pursuit. He has to feel like he can make you happy.
If a man is offering to bring you a meal, don’t brush it off and say you’re not hungry. If he’s offering to buy your favorite bottle of wine, let him. Allow a man to give you things as his way of showing interest.
Many women decline what a man offers because they just don’t need it, or because they don’t want him to feel like he is being used. Sometimes women don’t want to feel like they owe the man anything. Unfortunately, this type of rejection just makes the man feel like he can’t make you happy.
Unless you are explicitly telling him what you want, like, and need, a man is going to do what he knows. If he offers to do anything for you, say yes.
Come to a compromise of what it is – but allow him to show you he wants to do things that make you smile.
Shower Him With Praise
Attention is the name of the game when it comes to being pursued by a man. He should want to show you attention by taking you out and getting to know you but you can inspire this by showering him with praise. Think of a young child getting praised. The more praise they receive the better they want to behave.
A woman who is confident enough to give her man praise will inspire him to pursue her. She isn’t waiting for the ‘Good Morning’ text or a general ‘How was your day?’ She is messaging him regularly to remind him that her attention feels good. If you’re waiting for him to call or text then to some degree you’re being needy. If you take control and constantly send him a sweet message he’s reminded of how good it feels to have your attention.
Most women message a man only to remind him that she wants his attention. She sends likes on social media, or subliminal messages, to remind him that she exists. This will not get him to pursue you. If you want to make him eager to have your attention text him regularly so that when he isn’t hearing from you he wonders what you’re doing. Or if he’s done something wrong.
There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be pursued but you have to give the courtship space to evolve. You have to be patient and know that you are worthy of anyone who meets your expectations and standards. You have to understand that pursuit doesn’t make you any more valuable.
If you want to pursue a man that just makes him lucky. Don’t be so aggressive that you take the joy out of the romance but don’t just sit back and resign in the relationship. A man should prove he’s worthy of you regardless of who pursues who.