When people tell me dating is easy for me, referring to my looks, I always laugh and say it’s even harder because I’ve dated everybody. I feel like I have dated everyone. From athletes, lawyers, doctors, salesmen, unemployed, engineers, Americans, Russians, Africans and the list goes on.
I’ve never found it difficult to get a date but what I’ve found over the years that I’ve been writing about dating, is that most people don’t care about the date.
For most people, the destination is far more important than the journey and they would rather get to paradise and have a lousy time than to be stuck in the world’s most beautiful airport.
I get it.
I really do understand how important love is to most people. Unfortunately when you’re single you can develop an unrealistic view of what relationships are actually like. You might find yourself so caught up in a fantasy or a memory of what you had that you create an idea in your mind that isn’t accurate.
It’s like visiting a place as a child, having a fond memory of it but revisiting it as an adult you realize it isn’t all that great. Why had you thought it was?
Many singles find themselves longing for relationships regardless of the fact that they are yet to have a good one. Then again, we all just want a do over, another chance to do better and be better.
I am not immune to wanting love and a wonderful man in my life just like anyone else. It makes me feel special. But I am not the kind of person who can sit back and wait for the universe to take its sweet time to bring me a Boris Kodjoe’s lookalike.
So because of this I created a love plan. A ritual of things I do to attract the right kind of love into my life.
I get specific.
If you can’t name it you can’t claim it. – What do you really want out of a partner? I’ve only been in a handful of relationships and none of them were anything to write home about. When I started to get clear on what I wanted, it was easier to avoid what I didn’t want.
And skip the list mentality. Write down what you explicitly need.
Ex. I want a partner who compliments me more than they put me down. Who has a positive attitude, who thinks it’s important to hear my voice every day and who finds joy and satisfaction in making me happy.
In the morning and in the evening I take about 10 minutes repeat: “The universe is sending me a wonderful man”. I visualize how I will feel in a loving and healthy relationship and I recite a meditation for attracting love. You can find them anywhere but one of my favorites can be found in ‘The Power of The Subconscious Mind,’ by Joseph Murphy.
I have faith.
I remind myself in as many ways as necessary that I will be in a wonderful relationship with a partner who is loving, generous and kind. I never worry that I’ve missed my chance or that I am not worthy. I never let myself believe that I can’t do better or that what I want doesn’t exist. (If you can name it, you can claim it)
To some, this might seem like a lot of work. Doesn’t love just fall into your lap? Won’t you know the right person when you see them? If it’s meant to happen won’t it happen without your help?
As a woman who has met a lot of desperate men in her life, I have seen the ill effects of not preparing yourself for the love that you want. Many of us think we’re ready for that exceptional partner but when we meet them we think we aren’t good enough. We believe they are too good to be true. We feel inferior.
This plan works for me because I can trust my instincts when I know I’ve asked God/The Universe/ The subconscious mind to be on my side. I have faith that I deserve what I am asking for and I have full belief that it’s out there for me and I can attract it. Try it and see what happens. It might just work for you.