Are you ready to meet someone that blows you away?
The someone that you have been wanting and wishing for your entire life?
Are you ready to meet the person who could change your life forever and make you happier than you ever thought possible?
Then this is the exact guide for you.
Most singles don’t get what they want in dating because they don’t know what they want. You might be telling yourself that you have a very clear picture of the right person for you. When asked why they’re single, most adults are quick to admit that they ‘haven’t found what they are looking for’.
Out of the millions of people are on, somehow the person that is right for you is nowhere to be found.
Chances are this isn’t the case. In fact, you’ve likely crossed paths with this person many times before but you never noticed them and they didn’t notice you. If you’re ready to meet someone great and start dating in a rewarding way, the first step is to find the right people to date.
This is why you haven’t found what you’re looking for in love.
Scenario 1.
You Aren’t Really Looking.
Most single adults don’t want to admit that they want love in their life. It’s somehow beneath them. Regardless of that connection is a human need, the idea of having to seek it out instead of just having it, as it appears everyone else does, embarrasses you.
It might come as a surprise but often you won’t find what you’re looking for unless you’re actually looking for it. Single adults are quick to believe the old adage that when you stop looking for love it comes, but that isn’t the case. In what scenario in life can you stop looking for something and find it?
It doesn’t apply to looking for a job, an apartment (or house), your keys, etc…
Even if you were driving down the street looking for a specific address, you would be ill advised to ‘stop looking’ and wait for it to come to you.
So in love, you have to be looking. You’ll never get what you are looking for if you aren’t actually looking.
You must declare to yourself right now; I am looking for the right person.
Remind yourself of this every time you fire up a dating app. Remind yourself of this every time you leave your house. If you are single, don’t let a day go by that you don’t remind yourself of this desire.
And if you’re feeling spicy, add the phrase, “And they are looking for me.”
Scenario 2.
You Don’t Know What You’re Looking For.
‘I’m looking for a guy in finance, 6’5, trust fund, blue eyes.’ This Tiktok trend perfectly illustrates the power of specificity.
Married couples will often express that they ‘knew’ their spouse was the one when they met them. They won’t explicitly say they were ready for marriage or commitment but when asked, ‘When did you know your partner was the one?’ most people say right away. As in, the minute they met them.
You are most likely to know that someone is right for you when you meet them, especially if you’re clear on who you are looking for. You’re likely not to know, if you aren’t clear.
Imagine looking for a missing person. The first thing you would need to provide to authorities is a photo or a sketch of what this person might look like.
What is that sketch in your mind?
Most singles can’t physically identify the love of their life, and therein lies the problem. You must develop in your mind a physical description of your partner.
You must KNOW their attributes as clearly as you would describe yourself.
The best analogy I can offer to why this specific description is important is this: You are hungry but you are looking for a hamburger. Not just any hamburger but the most delicious hamburger, one that is something you have never had before. The first chance you get to sit down at a restaurant and order there is a problem; there are no hamburgers on the menu.
You can get up and leave, venturing to a place that does sell hamburgers. Or you can order what is on the menu, even though it does not fit the description of a hamburger.
Too often single adults are willing to sacrifice their clarity for chance. They believe that maybe they are being too rigid. Maybe a hamburger isn’t what they want, maybe a pizza will do. False.
Dating takes clarity.
It requires that you get as specific as possible, so that you don’t accept less than you want. The idea that you won’t get what you want, or you’re being too rigid, or that we live in a world without hamburgers is scarcity and fear driven.
You won’t like every hamburger, and even if you’re satisfied with some, it will be a joyous experience getting to eat all the hamburgers you want knowing that each might be more delicious than the next. Studies have shown that the more choices a person has, the less satisfied they are with the choice they make.
In order to get what you want in love, you have to be ruthless in accepting and engaging only with what you want.
You must decide right now; who is my hamburger?
Create a crystal clear description of what it looks like and don’t date ANYONE that isn’t it. Disclaimer: You will never miss out on what is meant for you. It has never happened in the history of the universe.
Scenario 3.
You’re Not Ready For the Right Person.
They say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. If today, you were introduced to the right person, the person willing to love you for the rest of your life, would you feel ready?
- Would you feel deserving?
- Would you feel like you’re enough?
- Would you accept them with open arms?
You might think that lack of opportunity is holding you back from love, and meeting the right person but what is really holding you back is doubt.
- You don’t think they exist.
- You think they exist but not where you live.
- You think they exist where you live but you’re not sure where to find them.
- You think they exist where you live, and you know where to find them, but you don’t go because you don’t think they will like you.
If you don’t believe that who you want, wants you as eagerly as you want them – Houston, we have a problem. If you’ve overcome scenarios one and two, then three is a breeze. You have clarity, and you have purpose.
The reason you have this desire is because the person you are looking for is looking for you.
Meeting you isn’t going to be a surprise to them. They have been asking for you their entire life, just as you have been asking for them. They know who you are because they are as clear in what they want as you have become.
Most people aren’t ready for what they’re asking for so they don’t get it. So how do you know when you are ready to meet the right person?
When you believe that dating them is your choice.
Meeting them doesn’t intimidate you. You don’t feel overwhelmingly anxious or insecure when they come into your life because this is EXACTLY what you asked for.
Anything else is imposter syndrome.
You must declare now; I am my desire’s dream.
The person you want, wants you whole-heartedly. And if they don’t they are not right for you. And you ONLY want the right person for you.
Esther Perel famously said, ‘There are a lot more people you can love than you can build a life with’. Specificity is a gift. Once you get clear on who you want and what they look like meeting them will deliver a sense of familiarity. You’re ready for what you want when you can ask, ‘I wonder if I’ll like them?’ instead of the other way around.
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