Home How - To How To Practice Safe Text

How To Practice Safe Text

How To Practice Safe Text

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  ~Ernest Hemingway

I have never had sext in my life. I’ve thought about it but then shuttered at the thought of pictures of my body parts in the hands of others. I of course, have shared pictures of people’s penises with all of my male gay friends so I know first hands that sexy pictures in the wrong hands can be very embarrassing.

It’s not that I think it’s a bad idea. It’s just very bold. That’s a level of trust I don’t have with any man but if you think it’s cool, do you.

If you’re part of the endangered species of adult who doesn’t own a smart phone or an Iphone (who are you) then you may not be suffering the effects of the text revolution. It’s a blessing and a curse. One the one hand your seconds away from contact with someone you really like but you’re no closer to intimacy.

Texting overall, I think is awesome. It certainly has changed my dating life for the better but it can get annoying and go awry if you don’t practice safe text.

1.     Don’t drunk text.

If you can help it and I know that alcohol is a damn good drug but you will regret it in the morning. Texts after drinking are for booty calls only. Used effectively you can land yourself in the bed of a very good lay but done wrong you could end up… hell you don’t even know where you are, how should I? Moral of the story it won’t be a very good place and there will be shame, lots of shame.

2.     Double-check your send to.

You know damn well you have sent a text to the wrong person. It gets tricky once you start multiple conversations but it never hurts to make sure you’re texting the right recipient. I text all the time and it’s bound to happen, it’s a matter of odds. Just make sure you can recover quickly. Text ain’t like twitter, you can’t delete it seconds later.

3.     Use real words.

Plz dnt mke ur txt look like the lyrics to a Waka Flocka Flame album. If you’re over the age of thirteen you should be able to abbreviate properly without creating your own language. There are no character limits on SMS so it’s completely possible to type a legitimate sentence. It’s annoying to those who have full keypads and don’t need to triple tap to get the right letter to decipher all your textual ying yang.

4.     Only ROFL or LMAO if something is truly funny.

Have you ever gotten a response to your text that was nothing but letters that you didn’t understand? GTFOH with those phrases and emoticons that don’t make any damn sense. If I send you “I’m caught in traffic” and you send me LOL, I’m blocking you.

5.     Don’t send 5 texts in a row.

If your train of thought is so fractured that you can’t send a whole sentence just call me. I don’t need ten 3-word texts telling me you’re going to be late.

Of course, these are just my pet peeves. I love to text but I’m not Carmen Sandiego, don’t make me decipher what you mean. It defeats the purpose of communicating if I have no idea what you’re trying to say.


%d bloggers like this: