You’ve just met someone you really like, and you want to know if the feeling is mutual. Taking it a step further, you could seriously see yourself in a long-term relationship with this person, but you’re not sure if they feel the same way about you.

You might assume that if someone is showing you attention or spending time with you, it means something more than it does. If this is your mindset, you’ve already fallen into a common trap that many singles find themselves in: the “audition” phase. At this point, you’re trying to prove to this potential love interest that you are worth their time.

This is common.

No one likes rejection, but even more surprisingly, we hate to be the ones doing the rejecting. This is the one area where singles seem to be in agreement. It’s easier to be rejected, so we put our cards on the table and hope the other person likes us back.

But what if I told you that it doesn’t matter how either of you feels?

Part nature, part natural selection, the only way to know if someone is really interested is to measure the ratio of the following four components.

Dating leaves a lot of gray areas.

Before we know someone that well, we have to navigate between our insecurities and their actions. Is their behavior a sign of nervousness, newness, or disinterest? It’s impossible to know, or is it?

You’re actually making things more complicated than they need to be. Why do we do this? Because when emotions get involved, logic often goes out the window. We make excuses, overthink, and sometimes, we even start to see things that aren’t there.

This is where many of us trip up. We want the best-case scenario to be true so badly that we end up complicating situations that should be clear-cut.

Here is a scenario: You have a date with someone you met online. They are interesting, and it seems to be going well. There are no plans for a second date, and by the week’s end, you haven’t heard from them at all. You might immediately assume that they have lost interest. But what if it was more than one date? What if it has been two months of dating?

Shouldn’t you know by now how the other person feels about you?

These are a few reasons why most singles don’t:

Jumping to Conclusions Instead of Asking for Clarity

How often do you find yourself reading into a text message or analyzing a conversation for hidden meanings?

Instead of directly asking someone how they feel or where things are headed, you assume the worst—or the best—without any real evidence. This habit leads to unnecessary stress and confusion.

A simple conversation could clear things up, but fear of rejection often holds us back.

Ignoring the Obvious Signs of Disinterest

Let’s be honest: sometimes, the signs are there, but we choose not to see them. Maybe they’re always “too busy” to make plans, or they don’t seem excited to talk about the future.

Instead of facing these red flags, you convince yourself that they’re just busy, stressed, or not good at showing emotions. This selective blindness only sets you up for disappointment.

Staying Around When You’re Not Happy

How often do you find yourself sticking around, hoping things will change, even when you’re not truly happy?

You might accept crumbs of attention when what you really want is the whole meal. You settle because you fear being alone or because you’ve convinced yourself that this is as good as it gets.

This behavior only prolongs your misery and keeps you stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction.

If you have been guilty of these behaviors, you’re not alone. These are the very hurdles most single adults have to navigate regularly. It isn’t always easy to accept rejection. As much as we hate it, we hate having to reject people even more, so we tend to pursue those who we know aren’t that into us.

We convince ourselves that if we just stick around, they’ll come to appreciate us. But deep down, we know that’s not how it works. Instead of wondering how someone else feels about you, rate the following factors, and you’ll know for sure.

Every relationship is made up of four factors. These foundational components will determine if your relationship even has a chance.

Attraction

Physical and emotional attraction is often the first spark in any relationship. It’s not just about looks but about feeling a strong connection. Signs that someone is truly attracted to you include:

• Complimenting you frequently, whether it’s about your appearance or your personality.
• Finding excuses to touch you, such as holding your hand, hugging, or casual touches on your arm or back.
• Making an effort to look their best when they know they’ll see you.
• Showing eagerness to spend time with you and actively seeking out opportunities to be together.
• Being genuinely interested in your life and asking questions about your interests, goals, and experiences.

If you find yourself always being the one to initiate conversations or make plans, it could be a sign that the attraction isn’t mutual.

Respect

Respect goes beyond just being polite. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions, honoring boundaries, and treating each other with kindness. Signs of respect in a relationship include:

• Listening to you attentively and considering your opinions, even when they differ from their own.
• Honoring your boundaries and never pushing you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.
• Supporting your goals and celebrating your achievements.
• Communicating openly and honestly, without belittling or dismissing your feelings.
• Being considerate of your time and making an effort to be punctual and reliable.

If they undermine your goals or dismiss your achievements, respect might be lacking.

Inspiration

A relationship should inspire you to be your best self. It should bring out positivity, motivation, and growth. Signs that someone is inspired by you include:

• Encouraging you to pursue your passions and supporting your personal and professional growth.
• Celebrating your successes and showing genuine excitement about your achievements.
• Providing constructive feedback and motivating you to improve without being critical or judgmental.
• Showing a genuine interest in your hobbies and interests and participating in them with you.
• Being a source of positivity and energy, making you feel uplifted and confident.

If being with them makes you feel drained, uninspired, or self-doubting, inspiration might be missing from the relationship.

Trust

Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. It means feeling secure, knowing your partner has your back, and believing in their honesty and loyalty. Signs of trust include:

• Being open and transparent with each other about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
• Keeping promises and being reliable in your actions and words.
• Respecting each other’s privacy and not being overly suspicious or controlling.
• Showing consistency in their behavior and maintaining a stable, honest communication pattern.

Being comfortable with vulnerability and sharing personal aspects of your life without fear of judgment.

Without trust, physical attraction, inspiration, and respect, there is nothing to build on. You might enjoy each other’s company and have strong chemistry, but there is no future without all four.

A person will not commit to someone who doesn’t inspire them or someone they can’t trust. You’ll never have a relationship built on just respect or physical chemistry.

Follow for more ways to build trust, attraction, inspiration, and respect in every relationship.