Have you ever gone on a date that seemed like a wicked fun time?
You had great conversation and spent hours enjoying each others company, and even made plans for a next date but then never heard from them again?
You might have thought the date went really well. So how come they didn’t follow up on date number next? This happens to everyone at some point in their single life and there isn’t always one singular mistake made that you can put your finger on but there are some mistakes I notice single men and women make all too often. The truth is, they come on way too strong and it’s a turn off.
Being too eager to move the relationship forward can manifest in a variety of ways.
To the other person however it looks like pressure and desperation. So if your last date never called or hasn’t followed up on plans between the two of you then the following could be the real reason why.
You didn’t end the date early.
Ending the date early is the best chance any person has of getting a next date. If you want the encore, you have to end the show. When you’re having a great time and you decide that you would like to see this person again, that’s when you wrap the date up.
You want to create anticipation for the next date. Revealing too much about yourself allows your date too much time to judge you and to create an assessment about you that might not fall in your favor.
When you end the date early you leave much to learn about you and once someone likes you they will want to keep learning who you are.
Let me give you a little tip, we are the most excited by the people we know the least about.
You didn’t qualify your date.
Singles are often told not to treat their date like an interview but high valued people almost always do. We need to know why we should date you and we’re judging everything that you do.
When you’re on a date with a stranger it’s imperative that you qualify them. Unfortunately too many single enter a date seeking permission to be dated. They actively try to impress their date instead of qualifying their date. You need to find out, is this person worth dating?
Whether that sounds politically incorrect to you or not just know that if someone is a jerk, you should find out if they’re a jerk before you waste another minute with them.
Unfortunately, too many singles play the smitten schoolgirl role and immediately “like” their date before getting to know them.
Singles are sometimes afraid of qualifying their date because they want to be liked but that’s insecure behavior.
If you want to secure a second, third, fourth or fifth date with the person you’re interested in, you have to understand one important rule, attraction is key.
You Didn’t Build Attraction
When someone is attracted to you, they will want to keep dating you.
You can do everything wrong and say all the wrong things and even spill red wine on their white shirt as long as its done with confidence it’s not a deal breaker. But when you are insecure and clingy, that’s when dates write you off as being “nice” but not someone they’re attracted to, hence not someone they want to see again.
If you want to be a success on your next date simply keep the date under 3hours and ask a lot of questions to find out if your date is worth dating again. Recognize that you want to determine if this person will add value to your life, don’t just assume they will cause they’re cute.
Develop a real reason to like them other than they showed you a little attention. I hope this was helpful.