What is successful dating?
I say this all the time: getting the results that you want. If you want f*ck every girl in the world, marry a millionaire, or have a date every night at the best restaurants in town, make it happen.
I don’t judge singles by what they want and I surely don’t choose it for them. Want what you want but get it.
Most people want genuine love. I’ve come to this conclusion over the years in the dating industry. I know from experience that dating is fun and can be fulfilling but to most people it’s just trying. Dating is simply trying to be boo’d up when you’re not. It’s an attempt at a relationship but it’s not a sufficient substitute so people hate it.
The problem with a blog is that it’s not a book. I don’t get as in-depth in every post as I might like. I can’t address all the “nice” men and women out there. I can’t speak directly to those with low self-esteem or poor body image. I can’t even specifically address those singles that can’t admit the problems they have. But I can give you a start on your journey to dating successfully, whether that means casually or finding deep and inspiring commitment.
Let’s pretend that you know nothing about dating.
First, you want get another person to like you. You want them to get to know you via spending time with you. Then you want to form a connection with them. You want to feel like you not only “know” each other but also respect each other.
You’re looking for consistency, positivity, passion, affection and expression of feelings.
Because we never know where we will find our future partner, we may want to date several people. No one wants to be rejected so we engage only those we feel we’ll have success with.
Here are 5 qualities that will guarantee success with almost anyone you find attractive and are interested in dating.
Sex Appeal
People will not date anyone they don’t want to have sex with. Regardless of if you have sex or not, being sexy attracts people. Humans are animals who can’t help but select those they find reproductively fit. We all know how humans reproduce right? Your sex appeal creates a desire for the opposite sex to want to mate with you. Without that will, want and desire attraction is difficult. That means you have to rely more heavily your other qualities. This is why “nice” guys tend to overcompensate with kindness. If you were sexy, I’d doubt you’d do have that sh*t. Better yet if you felt sexy.
Decisiveness
Do you know what you’re doing? Do you know what you want? In dating when you have your eye on the prize potential partners are attracted to your authority. People who are easily convinced or wishy-washy are not attractive. Have conviction, have a direct approach. Be precise. Know what you want and act like it. This doesn’t mean not to be flexible or spontaneous but know yourself well enough to have an opinion.
Patience
Happy people know that what is meant for them will come at it’s right time. Having faith means not trying to force anything to happen. Being patient means you don’t need to force anyone to do anything. Relax, and give the interaction time to develop. You might want to know immediately where things are going but patience lets you live in the moment instead of just thinking of the future.
Authenticity
Authentic: adj. accurate in representation of the facts; trustworthy; reliable. I shouldn’t have to tell you to be yourself but be yourself. It’s easy to try to change ourselves into someone we think potential dates will want but how do you even know what that is? Be who you are and pursue what you really want. If it ain’t your real hair say so. If you can’t afford 5-star restaurants, say so. If you just want to smash, say so. Be about it.
Confidence
I know it’s the most generic of characteristics but the truth is it’s really just having faith in who you say you are. Being convinced of. If you feel sexy, worthy, happy, funny etc. confidence simply means being convinced you are what you say you are. Dating is simply getting people to like you. I think you’re fantastic, why shouldn’t anyone else? The only reason someone doesn’t like you is because you haven’t given them a good reason to.
Everyone you meet should have to find a reason not to date you, not the other way around. If you can master these 5 characteristics, it will be almost impossible.
Thoughts?