The right relationship will find you, once you create the right circumstances to invite it into your life.
Whether you believe this or not, the alternative isn’t very helpful. Like most single people you’re probably blocking the very thing that you say you want, when it comes to dating. You’re probably afraid. A healthy relationship is out of your comfort zone for the mere fact that you’ve probably never had one.
If you haven’t had healthy relationships in the past then attracting one might seem difficult but there’s a way! Even that elusive relationship that you’ve been dreaming about your entire life is possible once you’re ready to have it.
You will never get the relationship that you truly want if you aren’t fully ready to receive it.
I read a great quote by Gabrielle Reece that said, “In life you will always have 30% of people who love you, 30% of people who hate you and 30% who couldn’t careless.” I can instantly relate this to the dating process in that some people are in relationships, some people are not, and some people will never be. That’s life. So many single men and women are trying to make their love stories look like everybody else’s. It will never be. Only you can live your life and have your story.
I believe in timing. Although I also believe that we are always in the right moment many singles let the right people walk by. The problem is, we ignore opportunities to connect with the right people because we don’t feel ready. If you want to get into a relationship I believe that you have to be ready for one. You have to clear the path between you and what you want and leave opportunity wide open for love to just walk right into your life.
Most people can’t let love in because they are living with blocks. Blocks such as negative beliefs, excuses, irrational fears, and poor social habits. Our ability to self-sabotage is so acute that even though we pass potential dates all of the time; we repeatedly miss opportunities to connect with them because we aren’t ready for the love we say we want.
If you are ready, or want to be ready for love, then you have to establish the following seven guidelines that clear the path for love to come into your life.
1. YOU TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE
Having a relationship is a choice that you can make. You have the power to create the dating life that you want but first you have to take action and do it.
We tend to think, “I can’t.” or “I want a relationship but I can’t find one.” Or “I can’t make others date me.” I have nothing against a reasonable objection but the list of things you can’t do is short compared to all the things that you could be doing for your love life.
You know you’re ready for a relationship when you can take full responsibility for being single.
You don’t make excuses or blame society, or the numbers. You accept that you have some power over your dating experience and you exercise every bit of that power. You do something every day that will positively impact your love life and you speak optimistically about finding love. You’re ready for a relationship when you are physically willing to do whatever it takes to have one.
2. YOU KNOW IT’S POSSIBLE
So many single men and women want to find the right person while simultaneously doubting this person’s existence. They know what they’re looking for but they have very little faith that this person even exists.
When you’re ready for a relationship there is no doubt in your mind that the right person is out there and making their way to you as we speak.
The idea that you want love, but doubt it, is a huge factor to why you don’t have it in your life. The reason you’re so skeptical of the person you want to date is because you’ve never met them or anyone like them. It’s also possible that you have met them but they rejected you. This feeling could leave a fear that finding the right person means getting rejected again.
If you feel this way then what do you think will happen? You will go out of your way to avoid rejection and subconsciously avoid exactly what you say you want. You know you’re ready for a relationship when you feel worthy of the person you want to date and know wholeheartedly that they exist.
3. YOU CAN COMMUNICATE
Communication is the key to every good relationship. If you’re not sure how to express yourself, listen actively and understand others, then you might not be ready for a relationship. The biggest indicator that you’re a good communicator is how you, and the person you’ve spoken with, feel after the conversation is over.
As a good communicator you want to ensure that you’ve gotten your point across without jeopardizing the state of the relationship. This is incredibly difficult at times and its the reason being a great communicator is so difficult.
Good communication means that you’re open and honest about what you want and how you feel. It means that you listen actively and can embrace what others share with you. Good communication is feeling comfortable saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes.
When you’re ready for a relationship you have the ability to communicate effectively while keeping the relationship in tact.
4. YOU ARE REASONABLY HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE
When you’re ready for a relationship you are happy with the current state of your life.
You have a life that you want to share with another person. The idea that a relationship might detract from your life has crossed your mind but you’re willing to invest in someone else. You aren’t looking for a relationship to rescue you from the life you’re currently living.
Creating the life that you want to live is up to you. When you hear the advice, “You’ll find love if you stop looking,” what people really mean is, when you stop looking and start living. When you are enjoying the life you’ve created without a partner that’s when a partner magically appears but it isn’t quite magic. I believe in magic and miracles but what happens when you love your life is that you vibrate at a different frequency than everyone else.
You become vibrationally aligned with the things that you want. You surround yourself with the right people, you volunteer for certain activities, you pursue your interests and you don’t wait to live your life until circumstances are perfect. When you’re ready for a relationship you feel happy with the life you’re already living. This becomes incredibly attractive to others and those who are also happy in life gravitate to you.
5. YOU ATTRACT THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Some people might call you lucky but you have a knack for meeting the right people and making new relationships.
You’re ready for a relationship if every person you date is very close to your one but just not them.
Most singles have the false idea that who they like will automatically like them back. You’ll never know how appealing you actually are, to those who you think are your type, unless you spend time around similar minded people. You’re ready for a relationship if you’re attracting high value people.
I have a firm belief that everyone you meet gets you one step closer to the “one”. Everyone you know works as your advocate to bring you closer to the person that’s meant for you. Did you know that the majority of romantic relationships start from friendly introductions? Most couples have met through a friend, or family member. You’re ready for a relationship when you are cultivating other relationships in your life to work on your behalf.
You can’t meet the “one” if you aren’t meeting anyone and most adults just aren’t meeting enough new people on a regular basis.
Think about how many new people you meet a week. Think about who you already know and what new events and parties they invite you to. Think about the conversations that you have with the people who you already know and whether they make you a more interesting or less interesting person.
You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time around. If you want to meet more potential partners then spend time with people who are similar. You’re ready for a relationship when you already have relationships with people you like who are close to what you might want in a partner.
6. YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC
A positive attitude and uplifting outlook is a great indicator that you’re ready for a relationship. Attractive people have the ability to make others feel better just by being around them. It’s hard to make someone else feel good when you, yourself, feel bad. If you don’t have the energy or mindset to feel optimistic about finding a relationship then you’re probably not ready to find one.
The idea that misery loves company is true and it’s very easy for two negative people to find each other. The problem however, is when one person no longer feels bad they no longer want the company of their negative partner. A negative or pessimistic attitude is a great indicator that your value proposition is low. High value people are confident, and in control. They don’t think negatively because they empower themselves to have control over any situation. You choose your perspective.
You’re ready for a relationship if you have an infectious positive attitude that brings equally positive people into your life.
7. YOU KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES
You’re not ready for a relationship if you are waiting to be accepted by another person. Boundaries are a great way to identify your needs and wants. Once you establish your boundaries, you know exactly what you need from another person and you know exactly what you’re willing to give in return. Your boundaries will always be tested in dating. We have no idea where the limits lie when we meet someone new.
You’re ready for a relationship when you know what you’re willing to do to get one.
If you bend over backwards, are too nice or you are desperate for acceptance then you might not be ready for the relationship you want. When you meet someone for the first time it’s easy to want to be accommodating.
We want to be liked so we people please, and we go beyond our own comfort zone. We do things that we aren’t 100% comfortable with.
You are not ready for a relationship if you aren’t willing to say no to someone and walk away from something good, in exchange for something great. I hope this was helpful.
Setting boundaries isn’t a negative thing. It’s the limit to which you will feel fulfilled. Once you know what you need from a partner you can’t be afraid to ask for it. You also can’t be afraid to say no when you need to. You’re ready for a relationship when you are completely comfortable letting someone walk away who isn’t giving you what you need.