As humans, sex is a natural and essential part of our overall health, however, it shouldn’t be an added pressure. Sometimes life’s daily stressors can add up and cause performance anxiety when it’s time to get intimate in the bedroom. Luckily, there are methods and steps that can be taken to decrease anxieties and enhance performance. Whether you’re a man or woman struggling with your sexual performance here are some tips to help you cope and get it on without worrying!
Find Your Stressors
Life is full of stressors, and with the pandemic still affecting many, it can be more challenging than usual to ignore the effects life may be having on you. Your body can react to stress in various ways, ranging from physical responses to your body like acne or erectile dysfunction to having a behavioral or emotional effect on your day-to-day.
Pay attention to your body, whether you’re anxious about your daily life or the inability to please your partner, you might be causing your own performance anxiety. Performance anxiety can be triggered by negative thoughts, and if you’re struggling then try to pinpoint your stressors to help you create a plan of action to help overcome or relieve stress.
Make a list of challenges or concerns that might be triggering your stress response and what will hope you cope better. You can also take up yoga or practice mindfulness exercises like breathing techniques to help manage your stress.
Don’t Let It Define You
Even though it can feel uncomfortable or cause you anxiety to discuss, it’s crucial that you talk to your partner about the sex-related difficulties you are facing. Explaining your performance anxiety in a clear way can help you not only ease any initial worry, but it can also give you a chance to open a dialogue on any pressures you might be feeling. Although they might not be able to help you find the perfect solution it can help you feel more confident going into the bedroom.
Remember that you should never let your sexual performance anxieties define you. There are various ways to still enjoy sex while trying to tackle your initial problem. Educate yourself on sex and sexual behavior to normalize any issues. Changing your attitude by masturbating regularly will reinforce the idea that you’re not broken. You can also include your partner by spicing things up in the bedroom! Consider oral sex as a fun alternative to get your mind back into the bedroom and living in the moment!
Don’t let judgment from others or even your partner cause you to shut down. You will not always perform at 100% and that is okay! Trying to achieve or expect sexual perfection is unrealistic and will only add to your stress surrounding sex.
Check Your Health
Sexual performance anxiety can lead to a number of sexual problems like erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, or premature ejaculation which can be caused by underlying health issues. Poor exercise and diet have also been linked to performance-related difficulties. Consider implementing a simple 30-minute exercise into your daily routine to not only help better your mental and physical health but also improve your sexual health. Exercises like Kegels are not only meant to better a woman’s performance but also a man’s. Practicing kegel exercises can help strengthen the blood flow to the penis for men, whereas for women it can help improve pelvic floor muscles.
If you’re concerned that your sexual issues might be more than just nerves then it may be time to consider seeing your doctor. If you’re worried about discussing your problems with your doctor out of embarrassment then consider making the switch to a virtual primary care doctor. A telehealth doctor will be able to prescribe an erectile dysfunction medication like Cialis or recommend the right treatment option for you to overcome any sexual difficulties.
Sex is important but recognizes like most things in life, it will have its highs and lows. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to put on the best performance every night. Enjoy yourself and find ways to help ease any discomfort or anxiety by taking care of yourself and talking to a doctor if necessary.